Leading common causes and reasons for divorce
When the professional body that governs Certified Divorce Financial Analyst professionals ran a survey there were three leading reasons for divorce.
Their survey showed the top mentioned items as “basic incompatibility” (43%), “infidelity” (28%), and “money issues” (22%). No surprises there so far.
What was surprising (if you believe mass media) was that their clients only cited “Emotional or physical abuse” (5.8%), and “parenting issues” and “addiction and/or alcoholism issues” received only 0.5%.
Arguably the top 2 problems, incompatibility and infidelity do have the potential to be resolved through counselling if both parties are willing to do the work and find themselves both invested and committed.
You can read more on their study here.
Additional Reasons For Divorce
Communication or specifically the lack of it. Typically this starts out as a minor irritation and then in later stages become contemptuous behaviour to one another.
Controlling behaviour which in can span in a wide variety of ways from choosing where time is spent, with whom time is spent. Arguments involving jealousy and restricting choice of one partner. Nagging often falls into controlling behavior. At the root cause it is frequently linked to insecurity.
Trust often factored with infidelity. This can either be real or imaginary. This can be hiding self-destructive behaviour such as drugs, money/gambling and so on. For some couples this initially is seen as excitement and eventually leads to great disappointment.
Religious and cultural differences. If love is blind initially sometimes these issues become huge when lifestyle choices need to be made. This can play out with parenting choices in as much as how the child is raised through to how interfamily relationships work. It might be unacceptable in some cultures for the in-laws to be moved into a retirement home while in others the idea is an unacceptable burden.
Effects Of Divorce
Men struggle with the impact far more initially but they marry far sooner than women.
Women on the other hand usually initiate divorce. They overwhelmingly get the custody of the children and over half are under the poverty line after divorce.
More on this can be found here.
Dr. Robert Huizenga has an excellent book on the topic and I did an interview with him which you can listen to here.
If you are interested I also did a survey on site about how people met their partners and if they would marry again found here.