Isn’t it OUR fault?
Hi ,
I just spent the last few days at a business conference in Texas. If you’ve ever spent much time at a business conference you will know that part of the time you spend is time spent networking. Meeting other people in your industry, swapping stories and learning what works and what doesn’t work.
What amazed me was the way that each person dealt differently with success and failure. Of course, success in business is always envied and studied but somehow it seems at least to me that failure isn’t. This got me thinking about relationships.
Why do we spend so much time trying to get into a relationship when so many of us don’t even take the time to give ourselves a short kick in the behind for repeating the mistakes we just made ‘last time around’?
In business as in relationships we all have mental blueprints or to put it another way, “a way of doing things”.
If you have the desire to make changes in your life you have to first admit that what doesn’t work is your fault.
Yes, I said it.
If it didn’t work it was your fault.
Now I know there will be those that say, “but my situation is different”.
But, unless you take responsibility for what happens and really question yourself were their clues before things went bad, or were there things you could do differently do you have the potential to ever change things?
I personally doubt it.
I met several business people that complained that their business went bad because of the morons they hired.
Hmmm… who hired them?
Then I heard from some people at this conference that told me that dated and married someone was dishonest and it didn’t work out.
Hmm… were there big red flags?
I think it is time for us to stop blaming everyone else when things don’t work out.
It’s time to take responsibility.
What do you think?
You can discuss this topic here.
Till next time, Michael.
P.s. For those that are tired of hurting, see my report about getting over your Ex here,
When to try and when to give up?
Seth Godin has just release a mini-book called, “The Dip”.
Its about, when it makes sense to give up or keep trying.
How many times have you heard, “winners never give up” or do they?
You can get the mini-book HERE for and maybe it will help you figure out some good stuff about your situation.
Similar to Stay or Go, sometimes you need help deciding what to do next in your job or relationship.
Hope that helps someone.
– Michael.
Bad taste or valid advertising statement?
A law firm wanted more business, so this is their ‘innovative’ billboard.
In case you can’t read the tag line of the billboard it reads, “Life’s short. Get a divorce”.
Yes, it got buzz on the major media networks but it raises some serious questions.
Excuse me, I feel nauseous!
– Michael.
The Changes Coming To OJar.
Well it’s time to reveal what we have come up with in our discussions to improve OJar.
1. To save bandwidth costs everything will be in black and white. As technical people know that will immediately save 30% of our hosting costs with reduced bandwidth usage.
2. To save moderating time, anyone that uses the ‘report this post’ button more than five times in one week will have their avatar (small picture on the left hand side) changed to that of a crying baby.
3. People suspected of trolling the boards will have their avatar changed immediately to that of a ‘troll’ so that you will know immediately to ignore that person.
4. In keeping with the suggestion to use images and more meaningful names for the different sections of the board, “Tell your story here” will be called, “Word up, 411″.
5. A new board will be set-up called the ‘Naughty Corner’, especially for people that troll.
6. When two people fight they will be given the option to have an ‘OJar face-off”. Here’s how it works. They both start posting insults in ONE thread at one another. The first one to get tired and leave is the loser. The winner gets to pick the avatar of the loser (for a week) and the loser promises not to post for three days.
7. People that delete their accounts and return more than 3 times will be required to take a ‘defensive driving’ course with our favorite OJar member or as an alternative they will have to submit a photo of themselves driving a Volvo 240 — the ugliest car on this planet.
8. The next OJar get-together will be videotaped and sold for profit under the title, “Ojarians Gone Wild”. Applications for camera men and women are being taken. Hey, it’s time to profit from drunk OJarians. Right?
9. In an effort to improve the site, for every mean thing posted about your Ex you have to say something nice about them.
10. Happy April 1st.
- Michael.
Behind the scenes.
A short note to update everyone.
Things may seem ‘quiet’ but Juggernaut has been working on a new concept to enhance OJar.
He has taken ideas from the existing site, ideas from some other sites and has really come up with some new concepts that are very exciting.
Imagine elements of myspace/hotornot/blogging/wikipedia combined with things that already work on OJar.
I can’t say much more for now, stay tuned.
Also, keep posting your ideas as many of them are going to be used.
- Michael.
OJar changes from a Sun Tsu perspective.
“Amid the turmoil and tumult of battle, there may be seeming disorder and yet no real disorder at all; amid confusion and chaos, your array may be without head or tail, yet it will be proof against defeat.”
The same idea from a different framework:
Web 2.0 (or, community driven sites) work because enough people are passionate, interested and motivated to make a difference.
We can follow these well-worn steps and solve the OJar paradox by building a “vast array of new sapling” channels.
– Michael.
What would OJar look like with more topics?
I have asked Joe (Juggernaut) to lead a dialog with OJar members about potential visual metaphors (look-and-feel) for OJar if it had more topics.
- How would the home page appear?
- Navigation?
- Colors?
- Layout?
- Visual Cues?
If you have ideas please contact him.
Thanks, Michael
Teleconference Recording and Slides
I invited 6 people to a teleconference to begin a dialog about the future direction of OJar. There were many more I would have liked to invite but I wanted to get a good mix of individuals into a very small group. Old-timers, newbies and a few “trouble makers” in the hope of getting the widest possible feedback. I am hoping over time we can grow this group into multiple groups with a variety of responsibilities in many areas.
Tonights 1.5 hour call was recorded so you can listen in. I have also made available the slides I used. If you wish to become involved in the future of Ojar you can send me a note and list your strengths. There are currently several groups being formed, content, technical, business development (revenue) and strategy. You can choose one or more of course.
Here is a links to the files which you can Right-Mouse click to save on your computer
The audio link (10MB in size) is found on this Audio MP3 LINK
The slides in Adobe PDF format, SLIDES LINK
If you need a free Adobe Reader for your computer you can find it here, PDF Reader
I wish to thank everyone that joined us tonight!
– Michael.
Mommy look at me… now!
This isn’t about OJar changing but I am hoping this will answer a riddle for some.
Why do some people create trouble on a forum?
Kids scream, “Mommy look at me” when they don’t feel the love.
People going through a breakup/divorce need love so they assume that any attention is a substitute for love.
Its all part of a well known self-destructive cycle that comes about when you are dealing with the end of a part of your life (grief).
I have seen it all before. Sad part is, “been there, got the T-shirt myself.”
Oh, if it makes you feel any better some people that go through this cycle do the attention thing in a public place like a bar and land up spending some time in jail.
There are a few of those stories posted on the board somewhere. Check them out when you get bored later.
Peace, Michael.
A Thousand OJar’s?
Thought for the day:
“As the roots rot and the tree falls, a vast array of new saplings appear.”
- Michael.
