Re:friends with extras
friends with extras nanuman: I'm going through a divorce and it'll be final early next month. A female friend of mine recently broke up with her boyfriend and was feeling pretty down. We ended up hooking up together and had sex . I thought it was just a mutually beneficial way of getting over a hard time and feeling wanted, and was not looking for a relationship and she expressed the same feelings. However, she's now become clingy, sending emails and calling everyday. I'd like to continue our physical relationship a little longer and stay friends, but how should I sort out and clear up the situation.
Re:friends with extras nanuman: This was the first time I've been physical with a new woman in over 5 years (the last one being my stbx) and somehow I thought it would be more difficult. I mean I was nervous and not sure if I'd be up to par, but once things got going it was fine. I guess that means I've successfully moved on.
Re:friends with extras Shanna: Just bc you can have sex with someone new doesn't mean you are ready to move on.....but that wasn't your question.....
I think the best thing to do is to set down with her and be honest about what you want....exactly...straight to the point...usually Friends with benifits doesn't work out bc one person ends up getting attached then hurt.
Re:friends with extras nanuman: Thanks for the advice Sully. I can see the whole getting attached and then hurt thing in the making, and come to think of it, I doubt a serious talk will take care of it. She'll probably say yeah-yeah-sure-sure while believing that being with her will change me and make us into something. I actually like her, but it's waaay to soon for me to be getting into a serious relationship. I feel emotionally freed from my stbxw, and feel like I'm ready to move on, but not to another replacement relationship. I thought this would make a good transitional relationship where I could get my grounding back, and then move on from there. Since she was in a similar boat I thought we understood each other, but I'll have to have another talk and even then I guess I should probably rethink things. I'm not a complete A**H*** because she was depressed and not eating and have sleeping problems, avoiding her friends, ... the whole nine yards, and now she's confident and enjoying her life with her friends. I think that knowing that you're wanted will make you feel good, and that's worth it even if you can't have that person. Sort of like training wheels. They're there to help you realize you don't really need them.
