Re:lonely but not for the X helplessness: thanks for the advice.
What about if I took a lodger in, rented the spare room? Would that spare the loneliness, was my partner just someone to come home to?
Whats your opinion on this?
Part of my upset was that I failed again to maintain a relationship. I took onboard (a very ill) person (mentally) at the time and tried to live a normal life with him. That was not possible with his issues and problems (x's etc). I couldnt live with the mess around the house, the loneliness even when he was upstairs on the computer or out at his counselling session/visiting friends, lack of committment (not physically or cheating) to maintaining the home and status in life. But for the first time since I was 18, I had someone to come home to. Of course, I've now got Kinobe (a friendly dog with an active tongue and tail)
So to counter act the future, should i try to learn how to share my living space, or was the relationship just too hard to maintain due to circumstances.
was it circumstances or lack of experience why I failed with living with some.
Do I need to learn these skills before I move to another serious relationship????????
Re:lonely but not for the X Sad Eyes: First Letting Go brought up the point of missing the companionship that is what all of us are missing here. Not just somebody to come home to but somebody who can spoon with you on cold nights, give massages, take care of you when you are sick, somebody to Make Love too...not just have sex with. All of that stuff...just the connecting with another person on a emotional and physical level...That is what I miss the most!!! But we need to remember this loneliness we are feeling isn't forever and hopefully that is enough to get us through until the "Right One" comes along.
I love how Timetobefree brought up the fact that even if you have someone you can still be lonely and I am there right now. I do still have someone here (even though that time is almost up) but it doesn't matter because I am not connecting with him in an emotional or physical way ...not in any way to be honest with you. I guess I would rather be lonely alone than lonely together. :-\
Hang in there! This is only a moment of your life here....the best is out there! We just need to be patient with ourselves! :)
SE
lonely but not for the X helplessness: Today, I feel really lonely. Ive analysed for not two long about whether Im missing my man. But no, I've spoken to him today via MSN and all is ok in his world. He seems to be getting a little better, wanting to socializing (art classes, kickboxing) under the wing of his mom. He has decreased his medication and sleeping naturally for the first time in 6 months. We are staying friends, but keeping a distance for a while (?????) whilst we resolve our own issues.
So, Im not missing him or worrying. BUT I'M LONELY. I've been to work and socialized, this afternoon I met a friend and her child at Starbucks and had a good gossip. Not about my relationship for once. Called at my parents on the way home, all is well there. Its nice to have them back after 3 months. Watched my fav tv programs and played/walked the dog. But all during that time, I felt lonely.
Is this part of moving on.....
Ive started swimming twice weekly, and go to a dance class. What with chores and the amount of sleep I need at the moment, I dont feel I can fit anything else.
so why am I lonely?????????
Re:lonely but not for the X LettinGo: I don't think it matters how 'full' our lives are, we can still feel lonely. I have an 8 yr old and 2 yr old twins, work FT, volunteer on a Board of Directors, etc. etc. etc. and still usually feel lonely DURING all of this. And, it definitely isn't longing for my STBX, but companionship in general that I am lacking.
Hmm ... I am certainly no help, huh? ???
Well, you certainly aren't alone.
Good for you for getting out there and doing things. Hugs, Kelly
Re:lonely but not for the X teacherwriterguy: I struggled with this one too - I tried to remind myself that I had daily companionship during my marriage and that's going to feel really different to live without it. No amount of other classes or clubs or activities is exactly going to replicate what it was like to come home to someone else in the house, to a partner.
It's hard to handle at times, but I don't think there's a magic fix for it - and I'd worry about overstretching or overfilling your schedule to try to compensate for that lack. I think it's good that you are keeping busy but also knowing your own limits too.
twg
