when will i ever learn sacoderisa: I accompanied my ex to her battery case in court, I was the victim, yeah, a guy being "abused" by a girl. Funny, last time i checked i have 30 lbs on her and know martial arts, but that's not the point, the point is I am still standing by her even when she tore everything that i thought life was and sent me to the deep river of loneliness. She acts like she is my best friend, which at one point she was, but I believe that a best friend wouldn't let that friend feel the way I do by doing things that are just plain mean and stupid.
I love her still and it hurts to know that I have to deal with her because of my daughter, it hurts to know i can't just erase her from my life. I just want peace now, I don't want to cry myself to sleep anymore, i just want peace in my life and in my heart.
Re:when will i ever learn snowyheart: Sacoderisa,
Peace you will have. It's coming. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Your in a good place here at ojar.
No, you can't erase her out of you life or your heart and that's one of the hardest things about divorce.
I couldn't erase my ex from heart if I wanted to. She's beginning to fade now, a little.
One thing I can tell you is, the pain will fade. The grief and sorrow will fade.
And...like I said before, the peace with come.
we're here for you,
snowyheart
Re:when will i ever learn riversandlakes: You cannot erase it. I wished and pleaded for the same thing. Aint happening. Looks llike we need to stomach it, go through the days feeling pained and hollow and meaningless ;((( the days must be visited through else the job won't be kept...the job must be kept because it is one of the measurements of our success? I know you know that even in the depth of the gutted valley, you know it is not worth throwing away one's life's achievements for such women...mine was a great woman, a kind woman, oh so lovable a woman, but when they morph, they morph into the veilest beings in existence - proven here at ojar time and again...
I know you won't check out the lyrics, so I'll paste here. Now am a BIG fan of Runaway Train by Soul Asylum:
Promised myself I wouldn't weep
One more promise I couldn't keep
It seems no one can help me now
I'm in too deep
There's no way out
This time I have really led myself astray
Can you help me remember how to smile
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
Everything is cut and dry
Day and night, earth and sky
Somehow I just don't believe it
Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughin' at the rain
Little out of touch, little insane
Just easier than dealing with the pain
Runaway train never comin' back
Runaway train tearin' up the track
Runaway train burnin' in my veins
Runaway but it always seems the same
Re:when will i ever learn AmyMarie1972: Hi,
Have the same problem with my ex. We have 4 kids and I told him last weeks that if it wasn't for them I would never want to see him again. He didn't like me saying that but I didn't like him telling me that he was leaving either.
I know how difficult t is but I have accepted that i will always love him, or maybe just the memories that I have of him because he is not the same person that I married and spent all those years with anymore. The person that I married would have never left me and the kids because he wanted to see if it would be any better with someone else.
The person that I married loved me with his whole heart. I know and take comfort from the fact that he still loves me and that I will always be a part of his life just as he is always going to be a part of mine. He will have to watch as my life goes on without him and I meet new people and maybe even fall in love again. He will have to see that although him going was so hard and painful I will still survive just as you will.
Stay strong, time will make things easier for you and will help you to accept that you will always love her, just you wont be in love with her.
Take care
Amy
Re:when will i ever learn sacoderisa: I know the song, and I know the lyrics, And yea, it applies. Also, I know you can't just forget, i loved someone before just as much, and I still carry her in my heart just as I carry this one, the difference is that one i didn't have to see anymore, this one.....she calls everyday, i can't ignore her, she will call trough someone else if i do. just for dumb reasons, and sometimes just to manipulate me asking me that why I don't like spending time with my daughter. my job is really demanding, and I do make time to see my daughter as much as I can, but as many people have told me, what I have to do now is just find someone else. But i wish it was that easy, is hard to trust anybody anymore. My best friend betrayed me.
