Tough night jt5639: I am so sad right now. I had a bad night and now feel so much worse because I don't have him to come home to and talk to about my day. I'm in the process of absorbing the fact that it is actually over. I miss him so much. I am hurting so much. It's been two months and I don't want to feel like this anymore. I just want to call him to comfort me. He wants to "be there for me" but I can't call him about this. I'm two days into living at my new houseshare, alone in my room crying, because I don't know these people, I don't know this life. I am so unhappy. I feel empty - I don't know how I'm still crying - I feel that I'm hitting the bottom of a well emotionally - how can there be more tears - more sadness?
I found a journal from 2001/2002. There are tons of enteries about how there was tension between us, how we we're having communication problems, sex problems, how there was this "wall" between us. Over 3 years ago! I don't remember feeling this way! I had written that I wasn't sure we were going to make it, and how scared I was. How could that have been three years ago? Why did I write these things and not act on them? Why did I let myself get in so much deeper?
This just hit me over the head even more about how this is over! We are over! I've never felt this horrible in my entire life - and I may be young, but I've experienced a lot of loss - and this is by far the worst. I'm feeling so so sad right now.
Thank you so much for listening. I really need some support right now.
Re:Tough night buyrbware: You will make it through this, we all do! It is tough, but the pain will pass! Its been two months, two long months. Give it two more and you will care even less. It does get better, trust me! If you need to talk shoot me a pm I work nights so I am usally on the computer. It really helps to have someone listen!
Re:Tough night AmyMarie1972: Hi,
I know exactly how you are feeling. My husband left 2 months ago yeaterday and it still hurts. I do still cry sometimes and do still feel low but I have decided to focus on other things and that is what you must try. I believe that I will get through this and so must you. You must stop concentrating on what you have no longer got in your life but what you do have. Then build from there. I know that you are feeling very alone right now, but you are not. Two months is really not very long and you are not to expect yourself to have got over it in that time. BB is right in that it will get better it just takes a little more time. Do whatever you can to keep yourself busy, walks, shopping, changing your image, whatever makes you feel better about yourself. Don't blame yourself that you did not see this coming because of your journal of 3 years ago, I recently looked at mine from 2002 and there were signs there that things wern't going well. To make a confession I found one of his for 2003 and read it, which I know I shouldn't have, but there were signs there to for him and neither one of us did anything to stop it.
Just take care of yourself and hey it's ok to feel bad, you have just been through one of the hardest things that you will ever have to go through in your life, but you are surviving it and you will get stronger.
Look after yourself and be proud of yourself that you have got this far.
Amy
Re:Tough night riversandlakes: It's tough. It hurts - a lot. But many heart-shattered victims here came out stronger. None of us wanted this to happen, but perhaps this is the price to pay to truly know what love is? To recognize those breed? Whatever reason?
Anyway, do your best to live through each day. They say before you know it - it'll be right as rain. I am too, taking that at face value ;(
