I still love him, but he doesn't feel the same for me. rcmorrison: I still love my STBX even after all this time apart (7 months). I love him very much and I still pray that my marriage will be saved, but as time get closer to April 22nd (D Day), my heart aches more and more for him.
After all this time, I'm still crying for him...looking at his pictures and praying for him...for change in our lives....for us.
I was comfortable with him...felt loved, but things with his son and I just didn't go too well. His son has a serious behaviorial disorder and sometimes, he used that as leverage to get what he wants, but not with me.
I pray that my stepson realizes what he's causing between me and my husband...our divorce. I feel that my stepson is happy about this situation and has done everything possible to sabotage our communications, etc.
I can't help what I feel for him..but I think he feels indifferent towards me now because of his son. I don't know...I still feel that since our marriage, we've changed from the loving people we were to people who have regret about being married due to a child's involvement.
Re:I still love him, but he doesn't feel the same for me. riversandlakes: it is the son in this case, instead of OM/OW...
but if your stbx had a sense of objectiveness why can't he see what the stepson is doing to his wife? ;(
Re:I still love him, but he doesn't feel the same for me. LostTeacher: I am understanding where you are coming from..... feeling the same thing for my stbxh. been 5 months of seperation, and i still feel like i love him. spent a good deal of time talking to him about this yesterday, laying it on the line. he cried while i cried, but then when it came down to it, i can't change him, and we both agreed about that. i don't understand why he won't work on it, why he stopped loving me, but there is nothing i can do about it. i can only try to fix myself, and start to heal from this problem. no one can tell you how long it will take for you to change your feelings, but i know that you need to try to heal yourself first. it's something that i am desperately going to try to do for the next little while, and to try to limit my contact with him again. learning about what he's been doing for the past few months was something i was craving, but it sure doesn't make me feel any better. it makes me feel worse, because i feel like i should be in the situations with him, and i can't be.
Re:I still love him, but he doesn't feel the same for me. rcmorrison: My husband was a part-time dad for 7yrs. He just got custody of his troubled 14yr old son and I feel that he's trying to make up to his son all the times he wasn't there for him. His son wants his parents back together, but unfortunately, my husband had BAD feelings towards his former wife or so I thought.
Also, there was an OW...his former wife. This woman came to me on our wedding day and asked me to step aside so that she and "her" husband can make things work out for their son. I feel that all this was planned since my husband informed her that we were getting married towards the end of Summer 2004.
This woman kicked her son out of her home which meant that my husband had to gain custody and become a responsible parent. We never discussed having his sons live with us because they seemed happy being either on their own OR with their mothers.
From the very beginning, this boy made my life miserable. He was constantly comparing me to his mother and I tried to overlook this because he had issues. His father didn't seem to understand my point, so I "painted him a picture" of what really was going on between his son and myself.
I know it hurt his heart to see that the 2 people in his life just couldn't get along, but to ask me to leave after only 2 1/2 months of marriage...then file divorce....that was a deep cut to my heart and it still hurts to this day.
This experience has left me mentally, physically, emotionally, and especially spiritually drained. I feel dead and I cry a lot, YET I still love him...that's crazy isn't it.
I just wish that we could have sat down and discuss this one on one...not via emails and text messages. It just seems that I don't exist to him anymore and that hurts because after 5yrs of a friendship which led to 1 1/2 yrs of a very loving and passionate relationship to a brief marriage destroyed by his troubled son and former wife, I feel that I'm owed an explanation of why he asked ME to sacrifice so much for him and his unappreciative family.
Why I had to uproot myself in Texas to move over 1000 miles away from family and friends to a small town in Wisconsin to be a wife and stepmom to people who seem to not care about my interests and needs? That's the question that I wanted to ask him face to face.
So sorry for such a long posting...sometimes I feel that I need to vent or I will blow up at the wrong person when I least expect it.
This is a question that I guess I will never have an answer to.
Re:I still love him, but he doesn't feel the same for me. riversandlakes: vent it away, hb. we all do that. i've vented an entire blogspot and still venting...
i'm sorry he doesn't see things objectively or stand up for you. is this the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? ;(
