My Wife left me 3 days ago . . .

My Wife left me 3 days ago . . . Adam: I am so depressed.
We were married for almost 8 years. We have 2 children together (A beautiful girl 5 & A handsome boy 4). I was blown away when she told me she wanted to "seperate". I thought things were good. But, apparently a lot of things were
just burried deep down inside eating away at her. But, I didn't know. I am still shocked that she left.

We had a good to great marriage. Everyone told us so. Just two weeks ago she told me how lucky she was to have me. And I knew how lucky I was to have her and my two children. We own a house in a good neighborhood. Have good jobs. I don't drink. I've never hit her. I've yelled at her at times when money was tight. But, truley I was a good husband.

I adore my Family. They are the reason I stopped drinking and partying 5 yrs. ago. I am solid. I never miss work. I'm always home. I shower my wife and kids with praise and affection. And now my wife has left (living with her parents)

Apparently there is another guy. He excites her she says and makes her feel in a way I haven't recently.

But, that's the rub. Two weeks a go she loved me and said as much. Everything seemed fine and getting better. This was so sudden. I was so naive to believe her. She played me like a fiddle.

I fear we may end up divorced - and I don't want that.

Anyone out there have any advice?

P.S. It appears,after talking to her sister,that my wife may have had a mental breakdown and doesn't know what she wants.

Help I can't cry anymore

Re:My Wife left me 3 days ago . . . Cyn: Hey Adam, I'm glad you found us. This place can be great for support. On that note, I can feel exactly what you are going through. My 2sbx left me about 3 months ago, out of the blue. He also had feelings inside that he never cared to share with me, and it destroyed his love for me. or so thats what he says. Anyway I don't have alot of advice since I am still healing myself, just try to talk to someone, anyone and remember that we are here for you.

And on a side note, you will the why's, what if's and the if I only knew but the bottom line is you can't change the decision she has made all you can do is try to come out of it a better person.
 Re:My Wife left me 3 days ago . . . Adam: Yeah - I know it's tough. The part here that is starting to really get me is how the kids are going to be effected. It kills me to think of any hurt they may feel.

This is so wrong. So sudden.

I know that "staying together for the kids sake" is a bad idea in most cases. But, this is a loving houshold. We are not abusive to the kids or each other. My wife is a GREAT mother and our kids are awesome. I really would stay together for the kids.

I read somewhere recently that boys from divorced homes are like 70% more likely to end up in jail. And Girls from broken homes are like 60% more likely to be pregnant as a teen. And both are much more likely to get a divorce themselves when they grow up.
Neither my wife or I had our parents split-up.

This is so wrong - I can't believe it. This is not supposed to be happening.


 Re:My Wife left me 3 days ago . . . admin: Hey Adam,

checkout the web site Stop Your Divorce it is an eBook that has quite a few good ideas about dealing with your situation. I read the book a while ago and it has some strategies for dealing with a partner that has decided that the "grass is greener on the other side" -- I can't tell you how often people make decisions without fully thinking through the long-term consequences.

I feel bad for you. Sorry things are so bad.

-- Michael.
 Re:My Wife left me 3 days ago . . . JASPER: Welcome to Ojar Adam sorry about the pain you had to endure to get here ,but like Cyn said you've come to the right place.

If you really do want to save your marriage thats great if your wife wants the same thing. Until you know for certain you must do whats best for you. I know it hurts especially if you didn't even know there was a problem what a shock that must have been for you.

Maybe this guy excites her NOW,but that will eventually wear off I gurantee. I bet most of the excitement she feels is from the sneaking around part. As I said it will eventually wear off and maybe she'll come crawling back,but you need to move on with your life now so whether she does or doesn't you will have already started to heal from this.