No affection for a year and half! depressedguy: Hello everyone. I am new and I hope I can get the help I need. My wife and I were married a little less than 2 years. The first few months were OK. When we were dating things were great. After about 4 or 5 months, things went down hill. I don't have a wife, I have a maid if you understand. But it's not just that, I can be here all day telling you our little problems. See, she dosen't traet me the way I think married people should treat each other. I feel like that we are NOT a team. It's me vs. her. It's gone on so long now, I don't know what I should do.
I fell in love with her best friend a couple months ago. I kept that to myself. You are the first person I told. I probably will never tell anyone else. Don't know what to do about that. When my wife and I talk about things, money, cars, bills, and we get in a fight, the FIRST thing she says is 'oh, you want a divorce' I think she is looking for an out and is affraid to tell me. What do you think? Is it me?
Re:No affection for a year and half! ukchap:
Dear DepressedGuy
Your marriage is terminal .... I have been where you are ..
It's just a question of time !
If you don't feel loved or respected then it's over and wishing that your spouse would change their attitude will just do you head in ..
Good luck for the future ..
Uk Chap
Re:No affection for a year and half! i_sing_alone: You know... it sounds like a vicious cycle. You don't get affection from your wife, but you're in love with her best friend.
This makes me think of what *might* be happening here:
She suspects you are not 100% on her team (so to speak) and that's why she accuses you of wanting a divorce. Have you stood by her when things are rough, or turned away? People can pick up on things, even if you think you're a master at hiding how you really feel deep down. If you love the friend, then there's big trouble here.
You feel your wife doesn't give you affection... well, maybe the reason she doesn't give you affection is because of what I mentioned above.
You didn't give much info, so I'm just guessing on what the issues may be... I'm certainly not trying to judge.
Aside from the fact that you've fallen in love with someone else, you have to ask yourself what it is you really want, what you're willing to live with/sacrifice. I recommend couseling if you're both willing to try it.
Best wishes
Re:No affection for a year and half! teacherwriterguy: Maybe I'm just naive but I have a really hard time believing that a marriage that is less than two years old is terminal?
I'm also really stuck on the idea that you've fallen in love with the best friend but are still relatively newly married to your wife?
You guys need to talk here! Get some mediation, intervention, counseling, assistance - this is too soon to give up over issues that really sound like hurt feelings and mixed signals.
twg
Re:No affection for a year and half! riversandlakes: he's fallen in love with the wife's best friend, but is it one-sided?
also, he's fallen in love with the wife's best friend, so what else is there to say? he said love...
how does a marriage work when one party has fallen in love outside of the marriage?
get out now, dg, don't hurt her any longer and any more...
please...
