judging other people and the damaging effects
judging other people and the damaging effects Jennicole: why do we judge people? whether it is giving that girl in the too-tight outfit a crappy glance, or talking about people who sometimes make mistakes....what gives ANYONE the right to say anything? i will admit that i have done my fair share, i beleive at some time or another all of us have. but why? is it jealousy? or do we really have a dislike for certain people that we havent even met? nothing feels worse than judging someone, and then getting to know them a little better, and knowing what an a$$ you were... often times the circumstances that lead us to judge others, are not true or not the whole story. what kind of person does that make you or me? i know that we have all done or said things in the past that we were not proud of... what if someone only knew that about you? they didnt know the real you, but because of your 'mistake' they took it upon themselves to figure that you were a bad person... i have been judged, and that sucks. i know a lot of us have... knowing the pain of that, why do we still judge others? this is something i have been pondering over the past few days... there is a person that i will admit i didnt think highly of, off of information given to me by others. but getting to know that person and intereacting with them over the past couple of days has led me to this point... feeling like a complete a$$, and wondering why we as people believe it is our right to judge others.
ww9111: The human mind likes to categorize people and fit them into these neat little cubby holes so it is easy to deal with them.
This is the type of thinking and reasoning that leads the weaker minds into racism and similar poor thinking.
I don't think we are bad people because we may prejudge people, I believe we become bad people when we are unwilling or unable to overcome those prejudices.
AmyMarie1972: Very deep thinking post.
I think that some of the judging people that we see but don't know with the look at what she is wearing! and things like that are to boost our own ego's. In saying to people and to ourselves that another person looks terrible we are giving ourselves a pat on the back for how great we look.
It is wrong and we shouldn't do that but it is our own way of boosting ourselves and making us feel better.
I do it, I admit to that doesn't mean that afterwards I feel good about it though.
We don't have any right to judge people but it is in our nature just have to try harder not to.
Jennicole: i was thinkin about this a little more, and it doesnt even have to be a stranger. we judge people in our lives all the time.. we see someone whether they be family or friend do something that we would have done differently, and we judge. i will give you an example that i am not too proud of. when my H was in his early 20's he went bankrupt. no matter how many times he tried to explain it to me, i could not fathom how someone that young could be that irresponsible with money... after all, i was 19 when i bought my first house, had a great job, and mananged my money well. skip ahead 1 year, we sold the house and made a pretty nice profit... i blew 10,000.00 in less than 2 weeks, and that didnt even include my bills! (my H and i keep our bills and money seperate) i could not believe it! i logged on to my bank account and was expecting a couple thousand in there, an it was only like 50 bucks!!! all my bills where due... i had no money... and i had to ask my H to help me with my bills. only then could i realize just how easy it is to be irresponsible. i apologized profusly for my behavior. maybe you have gone through a similar situation, maybe not. but i think deep down we all like to think that how we handle things is the 'right' way to do it, and when someone else, stranger or loved one does it differently, we think differently about them. instead of 'oh well yeah i can see that' we think 'what the he11 is the matter with them? cant they see they are screwing up?'
im not sure where all of this is comin from. the events of the past few weeks have just really made me take stock of my life, and who i am. am i the person i want to be?
I get where you are coming from, I think. It is very easy to look at someone's behaviors and think "I would never do that yada yada yada" but until you are ACTUALLY in a situation, you never know exactly how you are going to act. Classic "Never judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes."
Sounds like you are doing some very good (and healthy) introspection about yourself. I have been also a lot lately. In fact, I had a conversation with my mom today about explaining away people's behaviors..."Well, he said mean things to me because he was tired from all the overtime he worked this week" rather than just chalking it up to the fact that he is who he is, which is what we all are, which is human.
I have now talked in circles, but hopefully you got something from this. You have certainly gotten me thinking...which can be a good or a bad thing! :D