I caught my wife cheating

I caught my wife cheating Shadow: I caught My wife cheating, We have been married for 27 years, have 4 kids. The person she had the afrair with sperated from his wife 2 years ago because his wife cheated on him. My wife was good friends with him and helped him throw the hard times. I knew something was up when the phone calls to each other did not stop. They would talk every day, but only when no one was around. They would arrange to talk the his kids and kids to events. They both sign together in a group, and do dramas together. After i found out about the afair, I confronted my wife, she said that she does not love me any more, but is willing to work on rebuilding the marrage. But she will not stop calling the other man. The talk most days, only when no one is around. I have talked to the other guy and he says he is not trying to pull her away from me, but rather comfronting her. She has told me that she finds it hard to work on your marrage when she is still thinking about the other guy. She will not have anything to do with me, no physical contact, does not smile. with not go anywhere with me. We are still living in the same house but in different rooms. She says she wants to move out of the house for a while to get her thoughts straight. She says that she does not think she will come back to me.
What Can I do, I love this women so much, she has been my best friend for 32 years, I have told her that I will make any changes she wants me to, She says there is nothing she wants changed. I really don't want to break up the family.
What can I do to save my marriage? How do I stop her from phoning the other person? Should I try to stop her phoning this guy?
Help
Re:I caught my wife cheating caringmom: Shadow, I'm so sorry to hear your story. Unfortunately you can't make her do anything. She has to want to save it. Remember, you aren't breaking up your family, she is. Don't think you are the one that has to change, she's the one that wandered away to another man. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. Please stay on this site and we'll do what we can to help you through this. I know this isn't much help and i'm not giving you any answers. Just don't blame this on yourself. (((((HUGS))))) CM
 Re:I caught my wife cheating mle: Sorry to everyne that has to hear my reiterate the same things over and over but...
this is what I got

"we just don't get along" and... "i care about you as a person, but no I have no romantic feelings for you"

not even i care about you like afriend... "a person"
not even I love you or care about you as the mother of my children... "a person"....

And no one cheated here.
.
so yes we do know what it's like to be told, i don't love you.... it hurts like hell.... and the only comfort I have is the people here at Ojar keep telling me, eventually it will get better. For me though I need to hear that constantly to believe it....
So I toast to you and want you to know, someday it will get better.
It will be a long road, but we are both on it.

I wish I could get answers I never will, because I like to believe he did love me once... how do you just stop?... I will never find that answer... but we will heal and go on, eventually.