it's getting worse

it's getting worse indoorkid: my husband left just over a year ago, and i divorced him this winter. the challenges of getting through the legal and financial issues (he just split one day; no warning, no looking back), as well as moving to a place of my own distracted me, i think. they also made me surprise myself with my own level of self-sufficiency. the holidays were hard, but my family was actually capable of being selflessly supportive for a while. even had a lovely romance this winter: just what the doctor ordered.

lately i have been obsessing over my husband, fighting the masochistic urge to contact him, crying constantly, having suicidal ideation, fighting with my family, not sleeping. i think now that the crisis mode is over, the real grief is beginning.

i'm seeing a therapist tuesday, but could really use some help getting through this weekend.

Re:it's getting worse hurtingverymuch: Hey sarah,

I'm so sorry that you're feeling so terrible. It is amazing how much easier we can handle things when we're distracted with such things like moving, fixing up the house, etc. But, when those things are done and some of our time is no longer occupied, we start to slip.

Firstly, you should find new things that you're interested in doing, such as maybe starting a new exercise program, volunteer for a community group, charity, or church group, take up a new hobby that you've always wanted to learn but never did.

You've actually taken a good step by seeing a therapist. That and coming to this board will help too. The people here are a great bunch and very supportive.

IM me if you ever want to talk or vent. My s2bx has our son this weekend so I'll be around most of the time if you want to chat.

Take care of yourself and keep your chin up.

Hugs

Hurt
Re:it's getting worse ostia: Sarah--

I know just how you feel. I've been separated from my H since early June and we are heading toward divorce. While I feel that I'm doing better overall, I still have days where I feel like the pain is so bad that I can't bear it. I still feel so betrayed, and starting over seems so daunting.

You might want to consider asking your therapist about going on an anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication. Not everyone believes in them, but I for one don't think I could have lived through this summer without them.

Good luck, and keep posting here when you need support...