humility JimB: Had a flash of insight today. Actual brain function is rare with me, so I thought I'd share. :P
I think one of the most important characteristics to bring to a marriage, if not THE most important, is humility. It's something that looking back, I don't think I had much of. But it's something I'll be trying to build in myself, and looking out for in any woman I plan to spend significant time with.
I look around at married guys now, and one thing that strikes me is some of them really understand how fortunate they are to be in a lifetime commitment with the woman of their dreams. I never really felt that way when I was married - I had a tendency to look wistfully back at my single life, and all the "freedom" I had then. In other words, I'd say that in general I was focused on the negatives of being married, rather than the positives. Since my marriage ended, my first instinct has been to look wistfully back at all the good things about being married. (Can anyone say "destructive thought pattern"? I knew ya could.) I'm working my way out of that way of thinking now, trying to live in the moment more, and a lot of it comes from trying to put things in their proper perspective. Hopefully it will eventually lead to more humility on my part.
At any rate, I really admire guys who use the term "my better half" and really mean it. The ones who understand that marriage is a give and take - you pick your battles, and look for opportunities to make your wife feel good, rather than looking for opportunities to make yourself feel good. There's so much to be gained from making someone else's day, and of all people whose day you could make, why not make your wife's? (Sure wish I'd thought this way before....) YES, it's sometimes a drag. Sacrifices must be made. But humility makes those sacrifices easier to swallow.
And humility and maturity seem to go hand in hand. Humility helps you deal with making sacrifices, and maturity tells you that what goes around comes around. I think the people who are the most centered, balanced, and at peace are the ones who have ample humility and maturity.
Thoughts are welcome....
Re:humility NotADoormat: Thanks for sharing that Jim. I think there's quite a lot to be said for humility. I think you're absolutely right.
Re:humility A_pregnant_mom: That was so perfect! That post should be put up somewhere special here.
Leave it to JimB.
Re:humility inebr: That was great, Jim. I know exactly what you're saying. As I was reading it I was trying to gauge myself to see where I'm at when it comes to humility and maturity. I think I'm doing ok with humility, am able to see that sacrifices are necessary and feel open to looking at my faults and areas where I need to grow ...but for a long time I think I have lacked in the area of self respect. I think I got confused and felt that putting up with unacceptable behavior and situations added up to having humility, but was really more of a humiliation. And there is a BIG distinction IMHO. And maybe that is where the maturity comes in (an area that I am trying to build on). Having the maturity to see a situation for what it is and if it's bad, to walk away. Not try to fool myself into thinking an apple is an orange.. ...hmmmm....this is a good topic, good post....I'll be thinking on that one some more....
Re:humility barelybreathing: I think having humility in all aspects of your life is profitable.
Afterall, that is what the big guy upstairs teaches.
Good post Jimb, a great reminder to us all.
BB
