Kids and dating... SunnyFlower: Hey, guys...this one is for you!
I have been talking to this guy via e-mail and messenger systems for about 2 months now. We met on a dating site where I made it very OBVIOUS that I had a 2 year old son. We met in person a few weeks ago, and went on a few dates since then. Everything was great! We had good conversation, alot in common, and were both physically attracted to each other...it all seemed to be going well.
He stated he had no problems with me being a single mother at all. Over the last week, however...he has cooled off considerably. Not being one to let things fester...I asked him what was up. Now all of a sudden he has issues with me having a child!! He had to have known this from the beginning...why not just say so then? He said he had dated someone with 2 children in his past and was tired of always being put on the back burner when it came down to spending time between him and her children. I had really gotten to know alot about this guy and started to develop feelings for him, even...and now THIS!! I am really upset and confused!
How do you guys really feel about dating someone that has a "checkered" past, so to speak? I just don't understand...of course my son is a responsibility and a consideration I cannot disregard, but I have not neglected the fact that aside from being a mother, I am still ME with my own interests and have plenty of room in my heart to love another person besides my son!! :-\
Re:Kids and dating... barelybreathing: It is tough to date with little ones. No doubt.
I have a funny one for you. A little off the subject, but I thought it would make you laugh.
I went out on my first social date last week. On my way home from work the man called my cell to firm up our dinner plans. Well my daughter is in the back seat whaling. This man says, "...oh, is that your little girl, she sounds adorable." HA! Right! (She is adorable but sounds extremely obnoxious right now.) Then she pipes down and says, "Is that my daddy? I want to talk to my daddy."
Can somebody shoot me......
BB
Re:Kids and dating... heelblue: Well, first of all, I have children of my own too, so I have a checkered past also. I am dating someone now who has children also. We were both very up front about all of this with each other. The way I look at it...When you date someone with children, you have to consider it a package deal. Personally, I am one who likes children and I don't view it as an obstacle. Everyone has a past, and many times it isn't real rosy. Everyone makes mistakes...I know I have too! I try to look at the person within and don't make any judgements.
It sounds like you were upfront about having a child and he should have known then that it is a package deal....you don't get one without the other.
The most important thing.....the best interest of the child(ren)! If you date someone who isn't sold on the whole package, the child will be the one who suffers and that isn't fair to them.
Re:Kids and dating... justmenow: Hm, that really sounds like an excuse to me. He may have other problems that he isn't ready to discuss and since he found nothing wrong with you, he pulls the "you're a single Mom" card. I would note that in my head as a red flag.
Re:Kids and dating... Brian75034: Sunny,
If that guy cannot accept you for the 'whole package- kid and all'- dump and forget him. He is not worth it.
The fact that he said he doesnt want to be on the 'back burner' to someones kid just shows how immature and how he obviously does not understand what it means to have and raise a child.
Let the big "child" go- you can do better!! ;-)
