wild mood swings
i thought i'd cried my last for her, but i guess i was wrong.
i went out drinking last night. 3 shots and two beers nearly put me under the table, but it was for my brother's 35th birthday. my sis-in-law has a really cute friend who tried to talk me out of getting married 7 years ago. i told her last night i should have taken her advice. problem is she's working on her second marriage now and it's not going very well. we were mutual sad drunk buddies last night. danced a bunch and even sang karoke together LOL.
i will survive... it was fitting except for the whole verse where she wants to come back..
sals;ldks jeez here it comes again. what the hell what the hell what the hell what the hell. i don't care anymore i just want someone to hold. maybe it's the hang over talking. i feel so worthless and hopeless and helpless. i feel pathetic and stupid. i feel like a big baby. i want to be stong again. nobody gives me hope and i hate that. they all say 'you married too young'. then why the hell am i not wanting "freedom", too? i'm only 2 years older than her. i don't want to love her any more but i do.
last night hanging out with that girl i started to realize how easy it is to want something else. someone else. it's easy to think that would take away some of the pain. that would ease the horrible rejection of being walked out on.
k, i'm done. i wish i could say ranting made me feel better.
Re:wild mood swings Blueyes424: jim........
First of all, let me send you the biggest hug in the world.......mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmm. There ya go.
Second, let me assure you my dear, it does get easier. We all go through these emotions, and I promise you, there will come a time when she won't torture your heart like this anymore.
Someone will waltz into your life and sweep you off your feet, and then it will all feel like a bad dream that you've been awoken from. Your new love will override the love you feel for the ex, and you will feel like she is some distant fond memory. I assure you jim, it will come all in good time.
Just remember what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger, and we are never given any more than we can handle.
We are all here for you when you need us, and we will all lend a supportive listening ear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~hugs~
BE
Re:wild mood swings Samarra: Here's one more hug from me. Hope you felt that...it was a BIG one.
I know only too well what you're feeling. Even though I was the one to do the leaving it hurts no less. My reasons for walking were all valid, strong reasons. But my heart still feels the pain and it hurts like hell. Today was not a good one for me either. Out of the blue the tears come and you just have to ride it out. Yesterday was a good day. Good in that I didn't feel like drinking myself into blissfull oblivion. It's been 9 days for me....and I expect that's as good as it will get for a while. But you know Jim...sometimes the thought that I know these feelings are normal, and they will happen, helps a tiny bit. Not much consolation, I'm afraid, but I hope it helps. Please hang in there....and everytime you feel this way write and just vent. Lots of good people here to help.
Re:wild mood swings reck: Well Jim, its life Jim, but not as we know it (or want to anyway)….apologises to any trekies :)
Ive been following your carreer Jim and was getting a little worried how well you seemed to have a handle on things, and how well you were dealing with it. You are doing well but it cant be dealt with too quick, as you may have found out. Getting over these troughs will get quicker, but never get complacent. In my own case ive been so good for three weeks ive felt guilty, then this weekend….BAM…it got me again. good luck sir
Re:wild mood swings Shanna: Sounds like you need to join "Team No Contact" if they are still posting.
If you contact her it will just push you back in the hole. Talking to her will shove you backwards everytime you make progress.
HUGS
Shanna
