Help? Chelle30: I hope that I'm doing this right. I just joined this group, cause I need someone to talk to, someone anyone to share with, you know? I was married for 6 years and my husband was/ is an icky mean guy. I always thouht of myself as a strong, independant woman but those 6 years almost distroyed me. I have a beautiful daughter, who really doesn't understand why mommy doesn't want to be with daddy. I'm the bad guy in the relationship, because I've told my daughter that mommy and daddy are not getting back together again. My daughter spends one week with me, then one week with her father. I've tried to be as honest as I can with my daughter, and was hoping the ick-head was doinf the same, but I was hoping for too much. I don't care, I guess, that he has found another woman, but I do care that my daughter spends more time with her then with her father, that they spend the week at the new girlfriends house and all daddy explains is that this woman is a mere friend. My daughter even has her own bedroom there. Am I jealous, or upset.
I don't know how I feel anymore. I thought this was supposed to be easier on the one that did the actual leaving. It has not be easy...is there anyone that has any advice?
Chelle30
Re:Help? Chey: Hey Chelle, welcome to Ojar.
I can relate very closely to your story. I was married for 5 years to someone I fell out of love with very quickly. He treated me pretty poorly, and I left.
His girlfriend moved into our house about 2 weeks after I left him. He was supposedly pretty heartbroken. Go figure.
I'm thankful in a way we didn't have children together. I hate that we're tied together as it is while we go through the divorce process.
Most consistent and best advice is always to take care of yourself, get your eggs in order, get everything on paper and above board. Unfortunately there isn't much you can do to control the environment that your daughter is in when she is with her father, as long as it's healthy and safe.
I know it's not easy. It sits like a ball in your stomach. Believe me I sympathise. Just try concentrate on your time with your daughter and try not to bring the other woman or daddy up too much with her in conversation. It will hurt.
Take care,
Chey
Re:Help? Chelle30: Chey,
Thank you for your contact. Life is shi**y and you words helped.
Chelle
Re:Help? AmyMarie1972: Hi Chelle,
My husband left and got a new girlfriend virtually straight away. She moved in with him within a week of them getting together. Great for them, but not so great for our 4 kids.
He then began to feed them stories about me which again was not good. The thing with kids is they know when one of their parents is not giving them the whole story and the make pretty good judgements by themselves, so i would not worry too much about what your ex is saying to your daughter. Your daughter while talk to you if something has been said that bothers her, mine always do even my youngest and he is just 3.
I felt jealous to begin with, it's only natural, but that feeling does pass and things do eventually get into a routine and become easier.
My ex and i are actually on pretty good talking terms now although at the begining I thought that we never would be after all of the hurtful things that he said to me mainly out of anger as well as guilt.
Chey is right, dont talk to your daughter about daddy unless she asks.
Take care of yourself
Amy
Re:Help? Chelle30: Amy,
Thank you for your reply. All I can say is why didn't I find this site sooner? Already, two strangers have made me feel better then I have in a long while. I try not to talk to my daughter about daddy and new gf, but in all honesty, she brings them up alot. It takes everything in me not to tell her to stop talking about them. My daughter loves her daddy so much and I do not want to see her hurt anymore by this divorce. Unfortunately, it seems that my daughter is spending more time with new gf then with daddy. Should I speak to himm about this?
