Again with more detail Chelle30: So my first attempt at this did not go so well. Alot of mumbo jumbo, can't get it all out without crying or anger.
Here is my sad, pathetic story. I met S**** when I was 24 and he was older and beautiful. I was so inlove with him. Charming and beautiful. Then we moved out of town together and things got tough. He didn't like me making friends, said he was jealous. He didn't like me calling home to family and friends when I was lonely. Said I had him to talk to. To make a long story short, I got pregnant, we moved home, and the charming man disappeared. In his place was a man that was too concerned with money; he would go thru my purse, my car, find receipts and even make me take back stuff. We moved to the country, big mistake. I was called every name in the book, i had beautiful holes in the wall to prove how much he loved and worried about me. He never hit me or my daughter, but what he made me feel about myself and my life is almost worse. When we started fighting in front of my daughter, when she would come to me and stick up for me (A FOUR YR OLD) I knew I was hurting her more then anything. I finally left. Well he was a work one day, I packed up me and my daughter and left. He thought it was a joke. Then he got angry, then nice, and I am still going thru that.
It's been almost a year now, since I left. My daughter and I are recovering, even if she is still wishing that mommy will go back to daddy. I have met a wonderful man, but am terrified that one day he will hate me just like S****. S**** on the other hand has found another woman who is "so much better then me" . How does one deal with that?
Re:Again with more detail Samarra: Sweetie...you did the right thin in leaving. Good for you that you had the strengh. Not only for you but for your daughter.
He may not have hit you, but he was emotionally abusive, and sometimes that s worse. The invisible scars that leaves go unnoticed by everyone but you.
As for the other woman who is so much better than you. Quick translation: She is the one taking all my abuse now. The only thing you can feel is sorry for her....This poor woman is now in your shoes. Hope you and your daughter are doing well. Keep writng.
Re:Again with more detail magsinfl: Oh wow Chelle, I can relate to you so much! The only difference is that I have only been out of that relationship for about a month.
I have a 3 yr old that stuck up for me. I couldn't believe how a man could actually fight with a 3 yr old. He was so out of control, he never hit us, but he screamed and cursed a lot. It was so stressful. He has immidiately started dating and tells me all the time how these women just want to rip his clothes off and that's all they want. I have just come to the conclusion that I don't care. Let them have him. Our major problems started when his mother came to live with us. It was so horrible. She told me who he really was. She called him the "Great Pretender". Everything was great between us before we moved in together. It's really hard to hide your true colors when you are living with someone. It's so hard to move on but you will. I was unhappy for a very long time before I left him and now I'm so much better off. He treated myself and my daughter like crap. So I hope this helped, PM me if you would like and we can chat sometime. Writing on this board is a great start. There is a lot of support here.
Mags
Re:Again with more detail tatortot0601: I undersand how you feel, I am going through the same thing, just 2 weeks ago though. My 3 year old would cry when we would fight and it hurt so bad to see her that way. I decided I had to leave too and part of me wishes I would have done it sooner, I could have ended her pain sooner. I understand about the trust issues wiht the other guy and wondering if he will turn out that same way, how can you not think that way. My sister is a survivor of all this too and she found a wonderful man who she finally trusted and let into her life. She was married last July and they could not be happier and he is incredible to her kids. Not everyone is as mean and hurtful as your ex.
