Hard to be without you MidwestHopeful: Dear you,
While I wish I could tell you all of the things in my heart, I know it wouldn't be better that way. I want you to know how terribly I miss you and yet how sure I am that it was the right decision for me to leave. I want you to know how I cry at night, but it wouldn't be fair of me to say so. I want to hear how you cry at night, but it would break my heart to hear so.
There are not-so-small parts of me that will always love you. I hope those feelings stay true and don't turn to regret. I fear that they will. Maybe I will regret having met you, loved you, married you, divorced you.
I wish you the greatest happiness. For while you couldn't provide that for me, and I stopped t trying to provide it for you, I want you to have it. Somewhere deep down, your heart is better than you let it be.
I hope we both find what we're looking for. I hope you stop believing you had found it in me. I hope you find a girl who thinks you are funny and handsome and strong and wonderful. I hope I find a boy who thinks I am funny and beautiful and strong and wonderful. We could never have provided those things for eachother. I thought you were funny and handsome, but too strong for my good. You thought I was funny and beautiful, but tried to stiffle my strength.
I'd say I don't blame you, but you know that I do. I'm sorry I wasn't stronger. I'm sorry I ddin't do everything right and I"m sorry that I left you hurting. I hope that someday you'll decide to forgive me. I hope I can forgive myself.
I wish you the best in your life to come. I will always call, always write and always think of you.
Very Truly Yours,
Me
