To choose: Your Dream or Your Lady... sweets6879: Oh my Lord- I need help. It's been three weeks today, that I haven't spoken to my ex and that he decided that was it...and walked out.
We dated for 2 years, he lived with my son and I....
Yet, he traveled every month back and forth from Chicago to Colorado Springs to train...for wrestling.
Well, since April ...life has definitely been stressful, he was training for the U.S. Nationals...in Vegas and he flew in to Chicago to help my family move, after 6 years I was moving back home to save money the next year or two, to get a place for my son, myself and for my ex.
Well, huge transition, that just didn't go very well...it created stress in our relationship, I was overwhelmed with being the sole provider basically, (I work 8-4, his job is to train) I knew that going into this relationship, but at times, it's too much. Especially the last month, when the thank you's for dinners or whatever, were less and less heard.... then other petty things...
We finally May 13th, Friday morning, started talking again...and he said something that made me snap...what would it hurt to date other people and see what we had was real, that we are together for the right reasons, and if it's meant to be, God will bring us back together...(I snapped at hearing that, yes, was pacing the house and said I am gonna just end it..and was acting retarded, didn't hurt myself, just panicked, very childish) anyways...he continued to say, I love you, I love your son....I just have to do this, I have a small window, this is my last chance, 2008 and I have to give 100% of myself to wrestling, no regrets...then he said I choose wrestling.
So now it's been three weeks, and I have not had one phone call from him, I got a text message that was scripture from the bible(which made me ?? he can't talk for himself, but is hiding behind the Lord's words) then I get three days ago, in a text...I do not hate you, I just want to concentrate and move on with my life...now what?
PLEASE HELP ME!!! I AM LOSING IT, SO BEHIND AT WORK, CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING BUT THIS...IT'S KILLING ME!!!
Lost and empty
J-
Re:To choose: Your Dream or Your Lady... pauly: sweets,
It seems that you can only respect his need for space,as hard as it is pursuance will only hinder you and send him further.
Personally I can't see why the dream and the lady cannot be paired,but that is just me.Maybe there are other factors,some of which may be obvious.
Give him the room he desires,look after yourself and keep posting here,there are so many people to help.
Re:To choose: Your Dream or Your Lady... pluscachange: sweets,
I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. I do not know why a dream and a relationship cannot be co-mingled. It makes no sense. And if he's wanting to "see other people" to "see if what we had was real", does he really want to give up a relationship in the first place? It doesn't sound like it, honestly.
I mean, if he said "I do not wish to be in *any* relationship because I wish to train for xyz" that would one thing. To say "I don't wish to be in a relationship while I train for xyz. Oh, and by the way, I'd like to date other women", just doesn't cut it on the logic meter, if you see what I'm saying? He doesn't want to be in a relationship to train for xyz, but he wants to get involved in relationships with other women? Say what?
Re:To choose: Your Dream or Your Lady... So_Lost: Sweet,
That is horrible! Im so sorry that you have to go through this. I am even more sorry if your son ever looked at this man like a father. I hope he realizes what he lost, and begs you to take him back.
Re:To choose: Your Dream or Your Lady... sweets6879: Pluscachange:
From a man's perspective, that is exactly what I wanted to know. How is there any logic...you say you want to give 100% to the sport, yet, mention, other woman? don't get it either...
I appreciate your replies so very deeply!! You people are truly heaven sent. I feel so so torn, like I have all these tiny pieces laying all over the place, and can't pick any of them back up and put them into place.
I want to respect his wishes of space and all that, which I have pretty much. Prior to him texting me a few days ago, I only sent 2 emails ...nice ones of course, (pretty pathetic, eh?) And I left a couple vm's....
Then all I get is a I am concentrating ..do not hate you and am moving on ?? How do you just like that move on...from a woman who is 25 and a single mother, living on her own, let you in, gave you all she could...including let you into her son's life (and yes, my son loves him so very dearly, he got my son into wrestling ...so now my 6 year old wrestles)
I asked him no contact, and he said yes, no more emails or texts...time to focus on ourselves....
So do I do absolutely that, no more emails, trying to find some answers or closure, no more anything, just let who I thought was the love of my life ...walk away like that. Let him erase me and my son??
I did get into his vm and email and first found some chick he wrote an email too..that he met on the shuttle bus the day he flew back to colorado..and then i heard a vm he left this girl in illinois...(AGAIN WHY get involved with another girl from IL??)
So to me, it's proof that he doesn't really know what he wants, and maybe isn't telling me the whole truth and what is going on in his head.
How do you just erase two years with a live in girlfriend, talked of a future, plus my son....?? HOW?
I mean I know the last couple months I complained or things weren't so easy for us, but all relationships take work....and willingness to make it work....
Do you think he eventually will at least talk to me?
Not too mention, I am super close with his mother, everywhere I go...it's how's N...just really really hurts and I don't know where to turn, should I fly out there, and make him talk to me?
