"Welcome to the World of the Emotionally Unavailable" Spectrum: Whew......
After some soul-searching, a few dating mishaps and a narrowly-averted stalking I have decided that I am nowhere near ready to be out in the dating world.
I've been trying to fill a hole that isn't going to be filled anytime soon. The truth is, eight months ago I was ready to find someone, and I thought I did. I invested everything I had- my heart, my meager finances, my dreams- and the net result was something like the dot-com bust.
I've been on three first dates in the three weeks since I broke up with my ex boyfriend. None were with someone I thought I would actually develop a relationship with. Of the three, two were men I don't even really care to hang out with as friends, although the third was a fun guy I'd love to be friends and hang out with. Still, all three left me feeling trapped and panicky when they expressed an interest in further dating.
The truth is, I don't want another guy. I want my ex boyfriend back. I want the happy ending I was so sure of when I moved to Houston. I want to know why his life became so miserable as soon as I stepped into it. I want to make him as happy as he thought he would be before I moved here.
The funny thing is, when I was going through my divorce everything was relatively cut and dried. My ex had cheated, I knew what I had to do. It hurt that he did what he did, but the writing was on the wall. The course was obvious.
I guess if I was going to be brutally honest with myself I could say that the writing is on the wall here as well. What could be more plain than someone being totally unhappy with you? What is there to question about someone who is obviously much happier once you break up with them?
Not much, I suppose. But it doesn't make it any easier to deal with. I guess I'll just take my gilded invitation and join the ranks of the emotionally unavailable. Then I can pretend to be carefree and enjoy myself, even if that is far from the case.
Spectrum.
Re:"Welcome to the World of the Emotionally Unavailable" Bubba: Spec,
Quick question for you: What do mean by the writing is on the wall? Are you suggesting that perhaps it is something about you that caused your ex to cheat? Are you also suggesting that perhaps it is something about you caused the break up with you ex-boyfriend (and yes I know who that is)? I just want to clarify before I ramble on with a response.
Cheers,
Bubba
Re:"Welcome to the World of the Emotionally Unavailable" Spectrum: Bubba-
In the case of my ex-husband, I mean that the writing was on the wall as far as our relationship being over. He cheated, I knew he wasn't the one for me anymore. That was that.
In the case of my ex boyfriend, I'm just saying that I guess I need to accept that the relationship is over and get on with things, but I just can't make myself want to.
At least with my divorce I *wanted* to move on with my life and get over him... :-\
Spectrum.
Re:"Welcome to the World of the Emotionally Unavailable" tyrogers: Chin up girl. It's just a bump in the road. Check your shocks and drive on.........
You deserve someone who will treat with the love and respect you need. You will find him.....most likely when you are not looking.......
<<<<BIG BIG HUGS>>>>
BBH - Ty
Re:"Welcome to the World of the Emotionally Unavailable" jillieb44: I hear you, Spectrum. I'm assuming the bf is the one that dumped you? I'm in the same boat, though my bf (guess we didn't really get to bf status) dumped me after 6 weeks over a non-issue in my book (at least that's all I can assume, as his reason (no chemistry romantically) seemed bogus after a wonderful weekend we spent together -- until the 'issue.' And most days I'm over him; other days I hear the roar of the Harleys and think that if only we could have talked about this we *both* could be having a fun summer together and not alone. Sigh...
But he's not going to call, so best I just get over him and move on. I'm trying; I still have my other friend of >6 mos, but I'm realizing that he's just not that into me romantically either (either that or he's really shy). Both were on IM this weekend and I was invisible, and I didn't make myself available to either.
Give yourself some time. That's all you can do. All of a sudden I've had a house dumped into my lap (first to rent, then to buy) and I'm still getting used to that idea, plus the responsibility and maintenance....and I haven't even started my new job yet.
But I'm lonely and want some companionship...
Jillie
