Need advice on burn all bridges now, cross none later strategy links9814: I said here a lot, but I’ll briefly sum it up. Got married to woman with a child, she cheated and left me before the adoption process was finished. Even though she says I was a good husband and father, the relationship is beyond repair in my eyes. Too many lies and problems.
My therapist says I will never heal unless I cut off communication with my wife, we are still dealing with divorce issues. I’m utterly terrified that in six months my wife is going to have my daughter call up and say “Daddy I miss you” or “Daddy come see me.”
That would be the worst because I would just be reopening the wound just so my wife could get money out of me. I love my baby so much I’d probably run to her in a heartbeat. But a child is not a carrot to be dangled.
I’m thinking of using a burn all bridges now, cross none later strategy. Which means I really piss her off right now so she won’t use my daughter as a carrot later. It’s sad, almost like putting me thru more pain now to save the wound from reopening later. If I burn every bridge now I can’t cross over any later.
Any advice is very much appreciated.
Re:Need advice on burn all bridges now, cross none later strategy Lumpy: Dear Links,
I think you need to seperate your daughter and your ex. How are you going to determine that it's necessarily your ex who is influencing your daughter? From reading your other posts it seems pretty obvious to me that you and your daughter are close. Don't let your biterness towards your ex poison this. As long as you limit any disussions with your ex to divorce related issues you should be O.K.
Re:Need advice on burn all bridges now, cross none later strategy sourpuss: a child is also not a bridge to be burnt.
how do YOU feel about never seeing that little girl again?
i think if you simply close the door and do not deal with the pain, you will also never heal because the pain will always be there. it doesn't go away because you turn your back on it.
at the end of the day, it is a decision only you can make. good luck.
Re:Need advice on burn all bridges now, cross none later strategy links9814: Yes, me and my daughter are close, and I know a child is not a bridge to be burnt.
But my wife has said countless times I will never see her again, and I promise, 100% guaruntee see will not back down from that. She wants the childs real father to be her dad, meaning she has to cut me out.
The only possible way I will see that child again is if SHE NEEDS MONEY. I ask, is that really fair to me?
Re:Need advice on burn all bridges now, cross none later strategy sourpuss: no, and it's not fair to your little girl.
any chance of getting visitation? sometimes the courts will recognize a step parent, especially if you were on your way to adopting her.
