Something to be concerned about ? NoEscape: Hello Ojarians. I figured I would toss something out to you guys/girls to get an opinion. I caught my wife having an EA back in January with some married ass at work. Since then we reconciled...We've had a few steps back but things are going ok right now.
There has been a ex boyfriend of hers sniffing around trying to hook up with her.(he is married as well) ---every now and then she leaves a chat window open and I catch their dialogue. He has been a friend of hers
for years. Just thru emails mostly. It is very clear he is unhappy with his wife and has the hots for mine(shes even told me this). So my wife had an after work gathering for drinks last week. My wife never really goes out after work due to us having baby so I told her its no problem if she goes as long as the guy she had EA with wasnt there. He wasnt but she apparently did invite this old boyfriend from high school. Should this be an issue ? I dont want to be too controlling here so I figured I would bounce it off some of you. Thanks in advance for any replies.
Re:Something to be concerned about ? riversandlakes:
was the trust broken (again) by her lying on agreeing that this guy won't be there, yet she invited him over?
Re:Something to be concerned about ? sadaboutdad: Sounds to me like this is something to worry about. I know it is hard to find the line between friends and lovers (especally if it is someone you have already slept with) but then how do you know for sure without snooping or being too controlling....bottom line can you trust her yet? If not then this is something you have to address with her. Let her know that because of her history you do not want to risk the trust and love that is starting to reform after she hurt you, that you are not ready for her to have guy friends that she has slept with in the past. Remembe she hurt you and can your relationship take another blow??
Re:Something to be concerned about ? Suddenly Single: I think it is something to worry about. If you have an affair and are committed to working it out - you don't invite another man out while your husband is at home. I don't agree with that and that doesn't show effort. She should be bending over backwards to show her committment towards you. By leaving chat rooms open and emails and stuff and telling you she invited him - she may be trying to be "open" so that you dont' get suspicous but that is almost like reverse psychology - I don't think I explained that well enough!
Not good in my opinion.
Re:Something to be concerned about ? riversandlakes: can you, perhaps, try sadaboutdad's response: let her know what you have been through so recently has still not put the both of you on the same track as before what-happened-so-recently. in a nice non-confrontational way?
it is just tempting and pissing off that one might be tempted to invite previous girlfriends to movies and functions and letting her know. but cooler head and ideas must always prevail...
