Oh boy! teacherwriterguy: So, a mini-disruption in my vacation week here that I'm going to post about - though not a huge deal.
TWGFB, daughter, and I had come back from the Aquarium, sun drenched and WIPED out, and I sat to check e-mail quickly.
I had a message from the ex's mother, essentially conversational stuff and then at the end it goes:
"Oh, and by the way, I don't know if <fill in ex's name here> told you, but she's getting married this Saturday. I thought you'd want to know."
Oy.
On the one hand, I could care less - ex's life is her life now.
On the other hand, oh for goodness' sake. It just re-reminds me why I am done with being involved in her life - after seven years of watching her make self-destructive decisions, yuck!
It did make me sad, in a way - she's getting married less than two weeks after our divorce finalized? I guess it hit that button of wanting to prevent her from being self-destructive again. Keeping my mouth shut this time around though. Her life to mess up, I guess.
TWGFB and I had a good talk about it - and, thank heavens, it is nice having her here this week - for so many reasons - but also because she is a really good friend to me. But, this site is a place I tell my story too, and I did want to share.
Bedtime for everyone here - time to read a goodnight story!
Hope all is well with everyone else,
twg
Re:Oh boy! in_search_of: I can totally sympathize with you, and I think that your ex and my ex will be having the exact same wedding day. Mine is getting married for the sake of being able to live in Military housing with the only girl he has ever loved...
Blah.blah.blah.blah.blah...
And this is the same person who has told me repeatedly that Babies are not reason to get married. However, housing and health insurance obviously are!
Re:Oh boy! teacherwriterguy: TWGFB's got the story covered tonight - they are brushing teeth. Actually, it's been a really wonderful day.
To be honest, getting the news today did put something in perspective to me. I don't know how many people read it, but I wrote a month ago or so about not being sure what kind of future connection I'd have with my ex - feeling guilty about cutting her off, or some obligation to a friendship.
I think what today's news suggested to me is that I don't even want a casual connection or friendship. I don't think I could keep my mouth shut, if that makes sense? And really, it is her life to live now - so I think that kind of helped me figure out the direction in which I want to move.
twg
Re:Oh boy! Lumpy: Dear TWG,
Can totally relate to your realization regarding your relationship to the ex. I still wonder why I feel the need to comment on her actions or judge her decisions. Seeing as we have the munchkins to eternally bind us I don't have the option of totally shutting her out. :P On the plus side, I've had to exercise my self-control to the point where I can usually bite my tongue and just shake my head. Kudos for being able to handle the news so well. We get a little stronger everyday.
Re:Oh boy! freovir: TWG,
first, let me say i am an avid reader of your posts. I envy your perspective and even though I have no idea who you are I am trying to emulate your attitude.
I, too, recently had a similar epiphany when the stbx took our girls for the night (the third time since january). I went out and when i returned there was a messege from her asking if I could take the girls so she could go on a date. Sometimes I think it is better to simply wash my hands of her. It's too difficult to watch someone you loved have such skewed priorities.
My best to you, TWG.
--freovir
