What do I do? This is crazy hurting: Ok - long story short - my H had an affair last summer with this woman. We got back together and split again (In March). We have been working at reconciliation for about 2 months now.
Everything has been going well..I mean really well. We have improved our communication, connection and all has been really good. He wants to move back in at the end of July.
Anyways - to get to what happened. The woman he had the affair with last summer found out where he is living and has been going and knocking on his door. She is a really unstable person - she threatens suicide, threatens to kill him/me..etc etc - you get the picture.
So last night - she goes to his door and again is threatenening to kill herself if he won't go back with her. So - he talks to her for a few hours and sends her on her way. I don't know what him or I should do..We don't want all the hassle of involving the police. I am feeling very insecure today and I know deep down - he is telling me the truth - but how do we get rid of her in a calm way without causing a whole big issue? I told him straight out this morning that I am not going to deal with crap and if he can't get her to leave him alone - then let me know when he does get rid of her. I am really confused this morning and I don't want any more stress in my life. the last year of my life has been the most stressful and emotionally draining year of my life...ever.....How do we get rid of her and prevent her from finding us short of going to court for a restraining order?? has anyone else had these kinds of issues with the EX OW?? or OM?
Any advice is greatly appreciated!! On another note - my prayers go out to family and friends of anyone who was hurt or killed in London..Truly a human tragedy..
Re: What do I do? This is crazy Lome: Me too!
I am so sorry that you are in this mess. It seems that if you read enough posts, you start to see patterns.
So here is what we are doing about our OW....first, he is to have as little contact as possible....mine is in a different state....but she is sending gifts and emails.....
the suicide stuff....well, I am getting those notes too. He has sent her an email with basic: this is how to survive depression game plan stuff.
She is seeing her shrink and on meds.....so maybe he can suggest st. john's wort and therapy.
It is irresponsible for anyone to take suicide threats as anything other than serious....but, after doing little to help her out (phone numbers or web sites) it is up to her to get help.
She has suggested coming to our house or my school....I will be polite and call the cops if necessary...I just don't need to get arrested any time soon!
Get a restraining order! She could just be bluffing, but this is one way to ensure that you all know the rules to this fun.
My dear, do not worry overly much for her....how much to she worry about you? Was she begging your mate to call and offer you comfort?
You are at war and she is the enemy!
You are fighting to take control of your future...with him in it or not....you need to do what is going to allow you to keep your honor and find happiness again.
Good luck
Re: What do I do? This is crazy sourpuss: ignore her. BOTH of you. do not take her calls, do not answer the door, do not let her in. responding to her behaviour gives her the validation she is looking for.
if she threatens to kill herself or you or anyone else, call 911 and have her taken away immediately. it is against the law in most place to threaten murder, and if she really is suicidal, she needs help. let the professionals do their jobs.
if she returns again, get a restraining order.
she is not your problem to solve.
Re: What do I do? This is crazy hurting: Thank you both for the advice. I am going to talk to him tonight and tell him that I cannot control this situation..only he can do that. I am going to tell him that if this continues I have no choice other than to remove myself from the situation. I am not going to be dragged into this kinda crap again. If he wants to be with me - then he knows what he has to do..but I will not put up with it for even one more minute. If he chooses to let this happen anymore - then I am history..
Re: What do I do? This is crazy sourpuss: good on ya. be firm, be strong.
