I'm so sad and lonely, I can't seem to move on, it feels like someone died
My husband came and got the rest of his stuff yesterday, and we divided the remainder of his things. Why has he found it so easy to move on? He has a new girlfriend who he told me at the beginning was nothing, that him and i would work it out, she was just someone to pass the time.
Now it's getting serious and it's killing me. I just don't know how to move on. It turns out he'd been seeing her after we broke up but were trying to get our marriage back on track. Others think thats why he wasnt wholeheartedly trying to work things out with me.
I've done wrong but I am accountable for my actions, he makes it seem to everyone, our friends, our families, everyone we know that this is all my fault, that he hasnt done any wrong, but it takes two. Any ideas on how to make the hurt not go away but be less present in my life so i can atleast function properly? without feeling or having to cry every 5 mins? I can't go on feeling like this. I can't take it any more. :'(
Re: I'm so sad and lonely, I can't seem to move on, it feels like someone died AfterMath: Welcome to OJAR Amanda. I'm so sorry your situation & know just much it hurts. (I could have written your post almost word for word a year ago.)
Stick with your meds since they seem to be helping.
Unfortunatley, there's not a lot you can do to ease the pain right now - but over time it will get better - I promise. It's just a long, long, long road (it is for me anyway). Just try to take of yourself - Eat, exercise, etc., and just generally put Amanda first! Above all else.
Any kids involved?
Re: I'm so sad and lonely, I can't seem to move on, it feels like someone died jkissa: Thank you, it's good to hear others out there are going through similiar feelings.
I have 2 step kids who live in a different province and i still talk to my step daughter almost daily, and my step son is here visiting and i told him no matter what happens he will always be my step son, he was talking to me everyday and wanting to see me all the time since he's been here for summer, but then my husband went and was saying a bunch of mean things about me to him and around him and now he wont talk to me.
I e-mailed my ex to say dont involve the kids, what happens between him and i is between us and should stay between us dont involve the kids. Apparently he talked to his son and said for him to call me and he can talk to me, but he hasnt and that hurts. I just feel so sad about everything and don't know how to move on. His new girlfriend keeps msg me so i blocked and deleted her form my contact list which was surprisingly hard. She is thinking this is a game and trying to rub it all in my face, which makes it harder.
I'm just so lonely. All my g/f are either pregnant or just had babies so they are busy with there own lives, I have one friend I can talk to but that it. I just don't know how to help my self.
I'm the most optimistic person I know but I'm having trouble seeing that things will get better. I know I made the right decision to kick him out but i keep doubting myself at my lowest.
Sorry I went on like this lol, it just feels good to get it out. Thanks for listening.
Re: I'm so sad and lonely, I can't seem to move on, it feels like someone died AfterMath: Amanda,
Jeez, this is just awfull. Can you try to talk & reason with your exh at all? Seems like he's so friggin' selfish. The gf's behaviour is disgusting. They are bringing the kids into a situation which is an adult-only one. Not accecptable.
But I would bet those kids miss you like crazy!!! Even if you don't hear it right now!
Hang in & take care of yourself. We're here for you. Keep posting.
(((HUGGS)))
Re: I'm so sad and lonely, I can't seem to move on, it feels like someone died LostTeacher: unfortunately, sometimes you just have to go through the pain. believe me, when i was at your point, i just wished that there was a fast forward button so that i didn't feel like i had to cry all night long.
i can safely say that even if the pain does not completely go away, it does get better. you will find that there will be times that you can go on without thinking about it. you just have to be prepared for set backs sometimes. been seperated 8 months, and still have the minor set backs.
try to get supports in order. have people to talk to that will just listen. have others that will give advice. have a journal that you can write anything in. post on here as often as you want. take care of yourself. allow yourself to cry. it doesn't make you weak, or less of a person.
realize that what you are going through is normal, and that even if you feel like it's the end of the world...it's not. i am seperated from my high school love. we were together for over 12 years, and i have never really loved anyone other than him. i thought that i would never be able to move on past that. but recently, i found that i really can do it. even when i feel like i am missing him like crazy, it doesn't last for nearly as long as it used to. and i am discovering stuff about myself that i didn't know i had anymore.
so just try not to let it control your entire life, use your supports, and post on here. time will heal, but you just have to sometimes live through the hurt first. understanding that might just make it a touch easier.
