Am I a bad Person? getting_rough: I mentioned in a post about an xbf that I talked to when I was having problems with my husband. We had been friends for a real long time 7-8 years. When we met so long ago there was a connection and I feel like we will always no matter what have that connection. Our problem was distance. He was in the service and only home on leave every six months for a month. THis was hard on me. Well, eventually he got out and was home for good. I couldnt have been happier. One night while we were out I ran into an old friend (husband now). I left the xbf at the bar and went back to husbands house. we ended up spending the next 3 months living together as boyfriend girlfriend. The xbf I told - I couldnt wait for him any more. (it had been 7 years of waiting and he still wanted some freedom for a little while so he could adjust to being a civilian again) We decided to stay friends since we had so much invested in our friendship. I have always cared about him and always when I see him feel that connection we had so long ago.
OKAY, So here is the question, This is hard for me to even write right now. I seperated from my husband 1 month ago. Due to his drug problem. I still love him very much. I ran into the xbf at a bar one night. He knew about my seperation, heard about it from his cousin who is my best friends friend. We went out to eat after the band played and talked about the past and how close we had been and I appologized for the way I broke it off. I asked if he was seeing anyone and he said NO. In my mind that means also if you are sleeping with anyone. I may be wrong. Anyway it had been three years + since we had ever been together and I went home with him. We had a GREAT time but ever since I have been feeling sooooo guilty. Like I cheated on my husband. We are seperated and I do not plan on getting back together. Well, last night I did it again. after ward I found out he is sleeping with someone else. I feel dirty. I feel used but most of all I feel like I am a bad person and this is what I get for doing what I did. I also found out that I held our past up to a different level than he did . That connection we had he said we HAD it but its gone and has been gone for a while. I am so upset. I didnt want to be in a relationship with him. And I am not heart broken I am just Mad that I felt sleeping together was special and he called it "just sex" This is my own fault and I am sorry that I am posting this but I need to get it out before I burst. I was going to delete it but then its like i am putting it right back in my head. and I may jsut explode.
Re: you are a good person mine: cut this rubbish about you being a bad person.....OK
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Re: Am I a bad Person? mozart101: You're definately not a bad person. You have long standing feelings for a guy you've known a long long time. He had the same feelings at one time. It was just a misunderstanding on how he felt now. Cut off the SC and go out and have fun. It's hard when you find out someone had SC with you without a deeper connection but at least you talked about it and nipped it in the bud rather than just assuming and maybe finding out a year later when you would have been deeply attached. You will find someone great - just make sure you talk alot about important issues before you get involved or intimate - it will go a long ways toward making sure you have a strong relationship.
;)
Re: Am I a bad Person? WhiskeyGirl: Of course you arent a bad person....you've only been seperated for a month and you say you still love your husband very much. That is very hard to deal with, its painful.....you were just reaching out to feel loved again, mabey it was a mistake but you certainly aren't a bad person at all. I am so sorry you wound up feeling used, that sucks big time :'( You are NOT dirty and you are NOT a bad person!!! Just hurting and confused right now....it will get better. Big Hugs to you!
Re: Am I a bad Person? riversandlakes:
YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON.
remorse can never come from within a bad person. you have it there, in the entire post. mistakes everyone make, but only those who learn from it shall not repeat thus.
