Here we go again......NO one can help me!!!! ConfusedOOC: .
Re: Here we go again......NO one can help me!!!! Lome: Hugs!
Right now there are simply too many emotions flying....you need to cool off.
I am in that post affair zone myself....it hurts and her not getting that does not help.
Pray and look for guidance. If you both really love each other and really want it to work it is going to be so tough.
If you, on the other hand, are the only one working ....then move on.
Be as calm and centered as you can be....and then fake it a good 20% more.
Record your thoughts, hopes, and plans.
Later, when you both are calm and ready....discuss only what is on your list. Maybe you can see in writing what you can not say.
Maybe, you both just need a plan to get out of your routine.
OR maybe, you need to decide how to live seperate lives and still care and love your child.
I wish you luck....
Re: Here we go again......NO one can help me!!!! jimloveless: one thing i've realized is that nothing you can say or do will make her realize what she's done. it's something she needs to realize for herself. Coming to that understanding made me feel so incredibly helpless because I was used to shouldering all the responsibility in the marriage.
it's like i realized it was all wasted effort, but effort I was used to putting forth. effort i didn't know how to let go of.
good luck, man.
Re: Here we go again......NO one can help me!!!! mozart101: Everyone has regrets - I don't think anyone ever makes all the right choices or doesn't wonder about how it could've been. However accepting the past without dwelling on it is the key. Whatever you do you must make a choice and live with it (and yes choosing to not change anything and not do anything is an active choice). Rather than wondering if you will regret your choice think about the consequences of your choice and how you will deal with them if they arise. No one ever KNOWS what will happen but you can make some guesses and prepare for the situations. Loosing a child to divorce is very scary but it doesn't mean that you won't be happy or that you will not see them again. If you are sure you want the divorce do as much planning ahead of time as you can. Draw up documents if possible and go over how you will split with your wife if she is rational. If you don't trust her to make rational decisions or if she will be vindictive and spiteful then consult a lawyer in private and find out what your options are. Divorce is not easy and it requires a lot of work both during the process and AFTER the process is complete to make it effective. Not seeing your daughter every day will be hard so get lots of pictures and videos if you can. Make sure she knows you love her and hopefully mommy will show enough sense to encourage the relationship and not to sabotage it.
Good luck with a tough situation.
Re: Here we go again......NO one can help me!!!! Lumpy: Dear OOC,
What are her gripes specifically? Are you addressing them? Little more detail might be helpful...
