Re: What did YOU do wrong? alonewith2: What did I do wrong?
1. I stopped trying after our first separation. Once I realized that I wasn't going to get from him what I needed, I gave up and just went through the motions.
2. I never really forgave him for cheating on me in the first place.
3. I kept comparing how he treated me with how he had treated her.
4. I pushed him away because I was so unhappy and thought it would be better if things just ended.
5. I stopped going out and having fun with him because I thought it was my duty to stay home and take care of the children. Eventually he said that I became boring. It's not that I didn't want to go out, I just thought that I was needed more at home.
All of these things I admitted to him, but I still don't think it was enough for him to cheat on me again. He should have learned after our first separation that if he was unhappy, to leave before the cheating started....
Re: What did YOU do wrong? down2basics: What I did wrong? OM Goodness! Where to begin???
1) I let my parents influence my decisions WAY too much.
2) Lost faith in him when he was down...
3) I took for granted that he would always be there...he wasn't!
4) I held him to standards higher than he was able to meet, which was frustrating for us both.
5) I quit having fun...I overloaded myself with the burdens of the marriage and forgot what having fun was like.
6) I too was an enabler...I enabled him to sink into his depression lower and lower...I would continuously pick up the slack instead of bringing it to his attention.
7) I worked too much...because we were so poor, I felt like it was my responsibility to bring in the slack...so I was gone alot.
8 ) I responded quite poorly to his depression - my solution was to pull further and further away from him...he was shoving me that way anyways right? Wrong!
and on and on and on....the list is incredibly long and tedious!
back to crying now..... :'( :'(
~d2b~
Re: What did YOU do wrong? penguin: I'm not saying that I didn't do anything else wrong. That was just the biggest thing. I was way too young and nieve (sp?). I should have addressed issues when they occured, and not just bit my tongue until I exploded one day over nothing. I should have been more alert to the things that drove me crazy... BEFORE I married him. You know, the things that drive you nuts, but you don't dare say anything about... like picking his nose and flicking the boogies on the floor or wiping them on the couch, or his "loin cloth" undies he wore daily and would lift his leg and let one rip. His whiney attitude towards everything. ... Ya, those.
Falling: It is NOT YOUR FAULT you got Cancer!!!!!!!!!!!!! You did nothing to desserve that, and if she's using that as a reason to leave you, she's an asshole!
Re: What did YOU do wrong? falling: I know I , too was not the perfect husband
I repeatedly did thing I knew annoyed her.
I became comlplacent, I thought she and I would be together forever. I took that for granted.
Most importantly: I got cancer.
Re: What did YOU do wrong? wowee: OH OH!!! I want to change my answer to the same as Penguin~Goddess. Afterall, that was my first and BIGGEST mistake I made. - and like everyone else, nothing I did possibly do wrong after that warrented cheating - over & over & over....
