Re: Here is my story...advice please!! judy: we are in the same boat. I found out three weeks ago that my husband has been doing the online dating for over a year and has finally met someone (half his age) that he has fallen in love with. I've given him 3 weeks and he still does not want to give it up, so I'm filing for divorce next week. Oregon is a no-fault state which is good and bad. But I agree, keep cool and get all your ducks in a row before you file -- go see a lawyer and see what you need to do. I saw one and I was amazed at the amount of data I did not think of that needed to be done.
Re: Here is my story...advice please!! southernprincess: also, i think he is gonna hit the roof when he sees that i am filing for "divorce". especially since he doesn't have common law where he is from
Re: Here is my story...advice please!! acidflask: It sounds like things moved really quickly between you two, but now I'd definitely suggest slowing things down. You've got to look out for your, and your daughters, best interests now. Obviously he has cheated on you several times, but you are in a really bad situation if you have nowhere to go.
Keep your calm until the divorce has been filed. He may still try to get you to leave, but I would think that if he isn't spending much time there anyway, you may be able to come to an arrangement with him. Of course, if you blow up at him, any arrangements that might be made will go out the door.(Along with you :( I'm afraid.)
Just to let you know, I hate giving that advice. In my heart I screaming, "Let him have it!" but my mind says you should keep your cool a little longer. I'd have to also advise backing up what evidence you already have, leaving the backups with a friend in a safe location, and "killing off" your other persona. You already know he's a cheat and a liar. Carrying on with him like that is only going to keep hurting you, not him.
Re: Here is my story...advice please!! Discarded: Well this raises my blood pressure! I really can't stand cheaters in a very personal way. Takes being cheated on to feel the way I do about it!
Keep us posted on how you are doing. Glad you are standing up for yourself and your daughter, both of you deserve so much better.
P.S. I would keep the registration on the site very very quiet and log it all and print it out for your lawyer. Keep stringing him along until it is all over and done with then send him the I want to meet and give him his address and phone number in California for the meeting place.
Dirtbags like this give all us real men bad names.
Discarded
Re: Here is my story...advice please!! southernprincess: thanks gulf coast. funny thing is that he is a lawyer and handles some divorce law, while his mom does most of the divorce law at his practice. he doesn't have common law out there, and while he knows it exists here i don't think he is very well educated on it. but, our name is on lots of things together and i am putting him on my life insurance as my spouse and we are known in the church as "married". so that's all it takes. i know with the church people coming in to that alabama court room on my side that's about all it's gonna take. plus i have the best attorney who is big buddies with the judge, which goes a long way here. hopefully this will work out for me, but if it somehow doesn't at least he will have legal fees :-\
