Re: my wife says she is not sure if she ever turly had a "spark" for me. faith: I don't think you should rush, but I don't think you can work on a marriage over weekends. I think you need to be together and functioning as a traditionally married couple.
I don't think you can force her to move home (nor should you). I also don't think you moving your home to be where she is , is a great idea either.
I'm not much help am I? :-\
Hang in there, and visit OJAR ... there's a lot of good help here!
Re: my wife says she is not sure if she ever turly had a "spark" for me. joe95: I am trying not to push her, but I will admit that is difficult. I guess I should not worry so much about the time, because we have already been in this for almost ten years. What is a little time if you have so much history and good times.
Re: my wife says she is not sure if she ever turly had a "spark" for me. joe95: What is OJAR?
Does anyone think that I should give her more time to think before we start counseling?
Re: my wife says she is not sure if she ever turly had a "spark" for me. qualt: joe buddy, i feel you completely. i havent been married as long as you and im younger but my situation almost exactly the same. My wife joined the airforce and the same thing hapened. She gained some independence and 14 days ago she tells me the same thing your wife told you. That she didnt really want to get married and like you i look back on the way we were and know that she is not only lying to me but that she is lying to herself to help her feel better about what she is doing as well as trying to make you feel like you would be better off with someone who really does have that "spark". And i share your marriage is forever idea as well as the idea that any relationship with love (which is a commitment not a feeling) can make it through things like this with a little compassion and communication. unfortunately for me its hard to make her see that. I am still going through this with her(like i said its only been 2 weeks) and im unsure what the outcome will be. The only advice i can give you is to not accept that she never had that spark. i dont know you or her but i am almost certain she is not being honest with herself about that. In all long term relationships the spark fizzles out. I know it has for me at times but unlike my wife i stuck itout and the sparks that died rekindled as a flame. And i know if my wife was willing to stick it out hers would too. hang in there buddy and feel free to PM me anytime
Re: my wife says she is not sure if she ever turly had a "spark" for me. Samarra: OJar...you're in it! That's us.
Seriously...no you shouldn't force her to move home but I do think you should push for the counseling...give her too much time and that's not great either.
Her willingness to consent to couseling is a good sign. If she were already gone...she would have invented excuses to not participate.
