how long would it take? iwill survive: hi eveyone.. as i was surfing and searching the web on how to live life after break up and how to lessen the pain, ive opened your site and i say its very2 good. you all relate to what i am feeling. you see my bf of 2 1/2yrs. left me for another girl. common story but to me it feels like a death sentence. he was a seaman and for more than 2yrs i emailed him evryday, i wrote to him every special occasion, i pray for him... ilove him so much. before he was involved again with another girl but he came back to me, i accepted him thinking that i can change him but alas, no! he promised that he would, for 1yr i keep on nagging him to change and i admit i have a fault there but before i trusted him 101%. the problem is not only o fling but with several girls. infact, some of them texted me saying bad things but i endured all that for him. my freinds said im a martyr but i did because f my love for him. well, he had his vacation this April and the 1st month we are doing fine, then the next month i can feel that it is getting worse. he said he wants us to cool off first so that we can think for the best, i later found out that he has met someone else. i admit i have mistakes too but so is he but still i accepted him and never, ever cheated on him. i did everything to him but he throw it all away. the other sad thing is we are planning to get married, my family was affected, it hurts me so much coz it is so easy and so quick for him to change me for another woman while i am suffering so much. it hurts so much when i think it is the girl he is thinking now, making love, loving now and everything we used to do..the first month i thought im going to die my sisters said i was like a zombie. i can live in a cup of noodles for one day, all i did is crying and crying and crying. the pain is physical, i heard that they are planning to be married next yr. its hurts so much, much more.. 3 mos. ago im the one he is planning to marry and now.. i guess anther thing is my pride was hurt too. you see compared to the girl, i am shall we say much higher in status than her and he dumped me for her? all the dreams and hopes i have for our future this girl will continue. there are days that it seems ok, my rational mind says that good for me, God has smething better but it doesnt take long for the emotions to overwhelm me.. 2eks ago my ex is back to his job and im not going to see him for 9 mos. do you think 9mos is enough to recover coz im afraid that when they marr nxtyr, it would still be hard on me. they said i am recovering well but i am backsliding.. i think that when he saw nxtyr he will come back to me coz i am working in a bank and looks good while his girl is working as saleslady abroad.. i want to show to his friends that im still the winner but i have no assurance of this, it is all just wishful thinking. how long would it take for me to forget him and for my love to him be gone? pls. advice me, thank you so much!
Re: how long would it take? iwill survive: yes, you are right. they days that i thought i will be ok but there are days when i feel like in a rut. can i ask you how long did you recover? there are times i want to end my life.. my ex has some feelings left for me but for the other girl, it is much stronger because he choose her. i cant believe and it hurts when he throw our 2yrs together for her. its seems his 2yrs with is nothing compared to their 1month. i really wish he would woke up from reality but im afraid to hope eventhough i want to.
Re: how long would it take? Suddenly Single: Welcome here and I'm sorry for what you are going through.
If I could tell you how long....I'd be a rich woman.
Everyone has their own timeline. I will tell you something that caught me by surprise - there are ups and downs. You will feel awful and then feel an upswing and then fell good and then almost feel like you are well onto the road of healing and then BAM ...lousy again. When it happened I thought I was a nutcase and something was wrong with me - thank god I found this site and I realized that I was not alone in my feelings.
Hang in there - all those silly cliches...... Take one day at a time, Time will heal.....they all suck butt when you hear them but when you are on the other side you realize why people say them.......because they are true.
It WILL get better.
HUGS to you. SS
Re: how long would it take? Suddenly Single: I was married for 5 years and with him almost 10. I'm not sure what it means to fully recover from someone cheating on you - My ex cheating on me was not the first time I had been cheated on so in a way I already knew how to deal with it if that makes sense. I would say by the time we were divorced I was over him. From the time I found out he cheated I didn't want him back. In fact - I think I was almost relieved because I wasn't completely fulfilled and happy in our marriage. I can't say though that I'm fully recovered because I do have some trust issues - I'm afraid to do it! That stems from past relationships and issues with my father. When I find myself trusting again it throws me into full fledge panic mode because I'm scared to death. So will I recover - I'm sure as more time goes by yes...but does anyone fully recover from a divorce? I'm curious to see what others say?
It is so good that you found out what type of person he is before marriage. You do not want to marry someone who is a cheater.
There are many things to live for and living for a man is not one of them. Think about all the good things you have in your life right now and try to focus on those parts and take care of yourself.
Hugs. SS
Re: how long would it take? iwill survive: yes that is what they are telling me also but the pain is so intense, sometimes i thought it was gone then it comes back full force. what i wanted is for my ex to return to me so that his friends will know that in the end he choose me over her, is it ok to feel that? when we see each other next yr for the 1st time after 9 mos. i want him to regret for ever letting mo ego. do you think he will regret? did your husband go back to you? i hate feeling the dumped! evrybody knows in the community that he left me for her and it adds t my agony. any words? you know i really appeciate your advices, it seems that you have been thru so much and remained victorious. i wish when my ex see my nxtyr he will be dumbstruck! not that i want him but i want him to think that he is a fool for letting me go..
