Some realizations are good qickglitter: I have realized slowly through this whole process that i truely think that i am in love with my x, but not who he is now, or who he was 2,3,maybe even 4 months ago... I am in love with my x from like a year ago. He has changed so much since then that i am not even sure who he is. So how can i be in love with him... I love him a year ago. and i have to stop living in that. He will never be who he was. I know that you never forget about your first love... but i feel like i might never be able to let go of the person that i am still in love with. The person that no longer exists...
Re: Some realizations are good justmenow: Yes, I think that's exactly it. I always tell people that the man I married is not the man I divorced. For a year after the divorce I mourned the man I married - a sweet, funny, loving man who cared about me. I loved who he was, who he could be again, who I desperately wanted him to be, and then I gave up. That man is gone forever and I could never love the man he is today. It's sad, but real. I think once you realize that they have changed is when the true healing begins.
People change, the key is that you change together and in the same direction. My Mom always said that, but she didn't exactly tell me how to do that. Hm. Oh well, I am now in my mid-30s and hopefully done changing for a while. Maybe now someone will love and appreciate me for who I am now.
Re: Some realizations are good Kermie: I have those feelings all the time to, I wish I could go back in time and change the way our lives moved apart, I wish I still had the loving caring wife that she was and now is giving her love to another but I have realized that I am my own person and I have changed as well. I am not the same naive person that I once was. Not the trusting person that gave everything to be with her. In reality it was her that was changing me. Somebody once fell in love with the person I was. I just hope that someday it will happen again. Hang in there!
Re: Some realizations are good qickglitter: Thanks for all of your support and help new things pop in to my mind each and every day... sometimes each and every moment, its just really nice to know that i have some people to talk with here that can truely simpathize and empathize with my thoughts, even the most hard ones to deal with. Thanks
