Re: My better half is gone for good KoffeeDiva: Hey fcard:
You're probably right about not wanting to know what's really going on. Me? I couldn't leave well enough alone. I'm one of those "sluethy" (is that a real word?) types so I had to start digging. Unfortunately, the more I dug the more I found (wasn't that the reason for digging in the first place?) and the more I found the more disturbed and angry I felt.
Probably not the best thing for me, and in no way a picture of who I really am. At some point, I'l get over being angry about his affair... I know I will; I'm just glad I'm not HIM.... someday his guilt will bubble up and over and it won't be a pretty sight! (Would love to see that....... well, then again, maybe not!) All I can do is live the best life I can for me (they say, living well is the best revenge!)
I'm getting better at living well every day (with a few backslides..... oh well, par for the course at this stage in the game.)
If I were you I'd take riversandlakes suggestion, collect what you can (even if its only small and insignificant to you right now) as you may be able to use it later on (even if only in your own healing process!)
Keep smiling..... we're here for you!
:)
My better half is gone for good fcard05: Just wanted to tell my tale. We were married for 10 years and we have a beautiful 4 year old boy. In 2002 my wife was offered "the chance of a lifetime" in her career. We agreed that I would quit my job, raise our son until he could go to school full time, since her new dream job would require extensive travel and long hours. The days, months, and years passed, the light at the end of the tunnel was always right around the corner she assured me. But her career just consumed her life more and more. The hours got longer, the travel more frequent, while my life slipped into a funk, 100% focused on her, our son, and our huge house that we really had no need for. Well, to make a long story short, she came home from a business trip on 7/7/05 and told me that she didn't love me anymore and we were through. For 4-5 days I kept my head thinking positively trying to show her how much we had to be thankful for together and pleading with her to at least give counseling a try. But over those days her position just became more entrenched. On 7/11 she asked if I thought it was a good idea if we should still live together. I said absolutely, she said she didn't think so and said she was moving out. She moved out last weekend and my heart is broken. I love her so much and we have had so many good years together that it seems unreasonable to me that it could just be over without even fighting to get back what we had. The divorce papers will be filed soon and all the dreams that we had for 10 years of marriage plus 4 years of dating and living together will be nothing more than ashes. I am in a bad place, but I have to keep it together for my son. When he is with me I am so thankful, but also scared of what the future holds for him. It is so tough to remain strong for him, but when he is with his Mom or at his day camp on Tuesdays and Thursdays I find myself in the deepest grief I have ever felt in my life. I have a few friends I can count on and a small family circle that has been supportive, but in the end I must find a way to make it through this, and make the right decisions on my own.
Re: My better half is gone for good riversandlakes:
you gave up so much for this family, and it went unappreciated. it's only human...
find a direction, fcard, because whatever she does she will do it. curse the freewill part if you will, but she will. let's not go to the OM possibility - who cares?
you quit your job for many years now it seems?
Re: My better half is gone for good fcard05: thanks for the reply riversandlakes. I quit my job a little over 3 years ago and now I know that whatever I walk into will be relatively low paying considering how long I have been out of my field. I will be literally starting from near the bottom while she moves on with her $120,000 plus Vice President position.
And yes, I believe there is another man although I have no tangible proof and she denies it.
Re: My better half is gone for good riversandlakes:
what has passed has passed. three years you gave up for this family - may the Lord put it in your account...
imho, it seems like you will also lose custody of the child, because she's making 200K per annum and a VP. bad news abound.
go out there, fcard, find your direction again (work?).
