Re: Confused and Angry!! hurting: I got the whole "I need space" thing..I was told "I am trying to concentrate on my business" - well whatever - I did find out there was another woman involved.
It killed me - I imagined them having sex and doing all the stuff we would do together...It was f**king torture.
Anyways - about 2-3 months go by and I am slowly, really slowly starting to get my stuff together and guess what???? he calls and says he misses me and he made a mistake and he loves me blah blah.
We are trying to re-concile - I know I probably should've kicked him to the curb - but I have a hard time throwing 5 pretty good years away. I will say I really have my guard up and am trying to stay detached until I am 100% sure that I can trust him again. Maybe I will never trust him again..I don't know.
All I can really say - is that you will never get any answers - at least the ones you want from them. I kept asking why? weren't we happy? etc etc and all I got was "I need space" and "I don't think I want to be tied down anymore" when he really meant - "I am f**king someone else who interests me a lot more than you right now".
Re: Confused and Angry!! microtech1: Hey kaya I am right there with you. My wife left with really no explanation and I felt just like you. It is a confusing and hard time! Keep coming here the people are great and will really listen to you and give you some great advice.
IMO it is hard for them to face the fact that they have made a decision that will end a marriage. I got the whole he's just a friend thing and that our marriage was bad for way longer than the two of them had been talking. I think this is just a way for them to justify their actions.
Re: Confused and Angry!! hurtinbad: It seems to always be this way...
She is reasonably happy in your marriage, runs across someone she likes/ is interested in, then suddenly your marriage is not good at all! That is what happened to me.
Why is it that they are willing to invest a lot of time/emotion/effort into a new relationship, but not on the current one. If she would have given me that much, this never would have happened.
Re: Confused and Angry!! fcard05: [quote"> I could live with I don't love you anymore.[/quote">
i wish i could say that. i guess my confusion is how does she just stop loving me after 10 years of marriage and 4 years of dating/living together. if we take the premise that it didn't just happen overnight as a given, then my next question is why could she not come to me when she felt like things were going south before the problems got to the point of no return? it's like she just decided to secretly pull the pin on the grenade and toss it into my lap at the last second. whoops... here you go, life as you know it just exploded in your face. man, there should be some rules of engagement in matters like these. i feel like i was just intentionally fragged in my own foxhole by my best buddy.
take care and hope you're able to find the answers you're looking for.
Re: Confused and Angry!! kaya26: I hear you there hurtingbad. I have been asking myself the same question. Why did she choose to invest so much time/emoition/ and her heart into someone else? We have only been married 2 years! IT just doesn't make any sense to me at all.
