history of breakups abc123: do people with a history of breakups, even though they seem normal, have harder times with relationships?
do they have to learn to be totally secure within themselves to make the next one work, or can they learn 'on the job' so to speak, while in one already...?
Re: history of breakups brokenupgirl: I don't know many people who've never had a breakup. Some breakups are more painful than others, though.
When I think back to my more distant breakups (before my current ex,) I think they mostly were good for me in the long run. Either the guy was a jerk and I couldn't see it at the time, or the breakup caused me to make positive changes in my own life.
I don't know what this current breakup will do to me. And I don't know how past breakups affect most people.
Probably the effects can be good or bad, depending on the circumstances and on your attitude?
What do you think?
Re: history of breakups dgiirl: A coworker explained it fairly well. He said he loves being dumped. He learns so much more about relationships than the dumpee. This is the first time I've ever been dumped by someone I was in love with. This is the first time my heart has been broken. And I have learned sooo much about myself from this breakup, I will always appreciate that aspect of this breakup.
Re: history of breakups abc123: mine couldnt hold a stable one before me.....and i know had my faults, but she brought alot of baggage but 'seems' normal....
do you think someone like her can survive?
Re: history of breakups reck: [quote author=dgiirl link=topic=16536.msg139480#msg139480 date=1123115799">
A coworker explained it fairly well. He said he loves being dumped. He learns so much more about relationships than the dumpee.
[/quote">
You can say that again. The dumpee blocks out any thought about what has happened......the dumped suffers from paralysis by analysis. In the middle of my mayhem my wife said to me “Brian, you think to much…I don’t like thinking about my feelings. ::)
[quote author=dgiirl link=topic=16536.msg139480#msg139480 date=1123115799">
This is the first time my heart has been broken. And I have learned sooo much about myself from this breakup, I will always appreciate that aspect of this breakup.
[/quote">
Yes you do, it really is an education about yourself and human psychology (I feel better about myself now even after all that has happened)…….but I could have still have gone to my grave quite happy remaining ignorant . ;)
