Letter sent with divorce papers getting_rough: Just wondering if I should have kept this out of the divorce papers. My addict husband just got himself thrown in jail for aprox. 30 days. I know that he needs to be there. but I still feel bad that I am serving him right now. He must feel so alone. I am crying everytime i think of him. I didnt want to just send the papers though I wanted him to know why. did I do the right thing by sending this along?
Dear M,
I just found out about what you did last night. What is wrong with you? Do you use your head? I know that the consequences to the choices that you have made are difficult to deal with and I know that you are hurting right now. But I can not have anymore part in this. The only thing I can say is that I can not try any longer to fix this mariage. Being with a drug addict has outweighed the joy of being with M. I love you and I will miss you and our family but I just cant keep going through this life with you. I tried so hard to help you and I begged you to get some help and to tell someone else what was going on but nothing I said or did ever helped. I hope now you can go and get help. Not for getting back together with me because I feel we both need to go our seperate ways but to help you. Do this for M. Not anyone else. You deserve a better life. You deserve so much more than you give yourself. Please M, Do this for you. I am sorry that I have to do this in this way but you gave me no other choice. I love you with all my heart and I hope some day you find this kind of love again.
Re: Letter sent with divorce papers browngreen: Honestly, I think he could draw the connection just fine without the letter: he's in jail, and he was just served divorce papers. I think that alone speaks volumes.
I know this is hard on you, and that you are huting. I don't know him. Maybe he's in a fog of denial about his addiction. Addictions hurt everyone involved with the addict. Hopefully this will bring that to light for him.
That's his story.
But What about you?
Years down the road, regardless of outcome, are you going to be glad you handled it this way? Seems to me there is a more loving way to step back and take care of yourself. Typcially, I think it's best to not kick a person when they are down, or if you have to, to do it with as much kindness and consideration as possible. I think you might end up regretting ending it this way. But what is done is done. Hopefully he will understand that you care, eventually, and will heed the advice to get help. .
The important thing is that he has the papers and the letter now, and a lot of time to reflect on it all. And you will be able to start to heal yourself.
I hope he does get help.
BG
Re: Letter sent with divorce papers alonewith2: I agree, as long as you are okay with how you handled it, that is all that matters. Did it give you closure, peace of mind, or any sort of relief? I think sending the letter as an explanation or sorts was better than just sending the papers. Atleast this way, he was able to get a reason (if he couldn't figure it out for himself). I know if it were me, I would appreciate the letter.
Re: Letter sent with divorce papers mine: hey getting rough
have not seen you for a while
are you ok?
ant
Re: Letter sent with divorce papers getting_rough: Hi ant.
I am hanging in there. It's been a little crazy lately i posted in the tell my story room. Thanks for checking in. How are you doing?
