Just needed to tell someone Candygirl: Sooo…. I was talking to my (male) best friend on msn messenger last night. We’ve known each other for a few years and he’s always been a really good friend. He had been drinking earlier so he was being really flirty in his messages. I didn’t think much of it at the time ‘cause I thought ‘hey, we’re just having fun and he probably won’t even remember tomorrow anyways.’ He said he was always too shy to flirt or come on to me any other time.
Then I thought about it… what if he was serious? Could I actually start a relationship with him so soon after breaking up with my bf? Then I started freaking out, and my stomach got that funny twirling feeling inside. Once last year he told me that we never had the chance to date, and he always felt a special connection with me that he never felt with anyone else. At the time, my bf and I were still dating… so I just brushed off his comments as nothing really, and continued our friendship.
Last night, all I could think about was my ex and I cried for the first time in a week. I thought about how his dad hugged me and kissed my cheek and called me his daughter in law. How his mom showed me how to quilt. I thought about the first time we kissed and made love. How nice it was just to lie beside him and feel his skin against mine as we fell asleep. The smell of his hair and everything I loved is all gone. I couldn’t stop the tears from falling, but I eventually went to sleep.
Today has been the hardest day in a really long time. I’ve had to stop myself from crying at work. I should be happy that I have someone else that wants me… but I’m so miserable because I haven’t yet let go of what I lost :(
Anyways, I just needed to vent, because today just really sucks!!
:'(
Re: Just needed to tell someone tyrogers: :-* The days will get better honey. I promise!
bbh
Re: Just needed to tell someone Failedjedi: Candy a word to the wise.....
Be sure, be DAMN sure that its what you want.
Please and thank you
Re: Just needed to tell someone Emo: Candygirl, I really feel for you, I know exactly what you are going through... I started a new relationship probably way too soon after my breakup, but the guy was too good to let get away even though I was still dealing with my breakup... and he is awesome and exciting and treats me better than my ex and isn't fickle about wanting to be with me etc and by all indications I should be falling for him madly but often being with him just makes me so sad that I no longer have the good things with my ex and makes me think, why couldn't my ex have just put this much more effort into it if this guy can? He loves me so much and we have such a good connection, but he won't even try half as hard as this great person that I am barely just getting to know.... I think maybe it is that having the new person being interested and so focused on you reminds you that you are in fact very desireable and rubs it in that the ex just couldn't get it together to realize that anymore....
Re: Just needed to tell someone Failedjedi: I am on the opposite side of the fence. My gf got everything she needed from me and when she is calm , she realizes all the things I do for her.
She has had affairs based on Internet romances and not told me, she would draw further away from me because she couldnt be honest with me that she WAS getting her needs met however she just didnt want them met by me. also she doesnt love herself so she has a long history of wanting the honeymoon phase over and over again....
It tore me apart but all I am saying is be careful and BE ULTRA honest with those in your life and yourself.
Otherwise you may become what you hate the most...
but if I am wrong and I dont know alot about your situation my word of advise is still take it slow
