OOPS, been a little MIA.. mydarkdreams: So.. update of things for me.
Ex is *STILL* there damnit, sleeping on the couch.. It's been massive dramafest at my house though.
For recap purposes. Ex and I broke up after 5 years back in April.. he had a new girlfriend almost immediately. He is nearly 40, girlfriend is 20. I am 31. He and girlfriend have issues here and there - they broke up once and got back together, he's being more forgiving than I could have imagined (seeing as how he found a condom wrapper on her bed which she said was for masturbation.. yeah, likely story).. ANYWAYS..
Well.. I have a thing on myspace, had it for months and months - it's mostly family and local friends. Well, someone I hadn't met emailed me from there - we have a LOT of similar interests etc. but anyways, I emailed him back.. We've chatted on yahoo and phone etc. I met him last week (he lives 3 hrs from here).. we had a good time just chatting and whatnot.
well, the ex had a *FIT* That I was talking to this guy at all - as we met on the net - but I met the ex on the net too. Whatever. He says I should ONLY meet people from around here, and ONLY in person never on the net (?). I live in a small town and I swear I am very unnoticed around here, been here for so many years. Regardless, I wasn't out looking for anything but why should I discount if a really cool and nice guy emails me - why should I not talk to him.
Well guy brought me a nice gift cause he wanted to cheer me up, I thought that was very sweet. Ex found out from my 4 year old.. he thinks I should not have accepted the gifts and should return them. He also said I should never talk to this guy again. Though he claims it is because this guy was at my house for alittle bit and because i had my son with me. Claims it has nothing to do with me - though he keeps proving over and over that it is about me. But in the next breath he claims it's not. Crazy.. anyways, it's been VERY drama filled.. and very exausting. I even left home with my 4 yr old because he was flipping out and I was scared to be there when he got 'home'. (I got called a whore that entire day, even though nothing even happened)
I really like this guy, and who knows what if anything will become of it, worst friends best - who knows.. but he honestly has said the nicest most genuine things about me.. the timing is a little weird because of the ex liking to be so condecending and hipocritical.
He seems to be just about everything I have ever said I wanted in someone.. really. It's very odd. we are *VERY* much alike. He really likes me * a lot * - I like him too, it would probably be easier to like him much more if the ex weren't constantly making me second guess every step I make, and making me feel awful. I know the ex really has no power over me, but he has some control over me that makes me feel unworthy and totally insignificant. The ex still controls more of me than I would like to admit, but it is obvious. The new guy knows the situation - and is being VERY patient, understanding, and kind.
So anyway.. I've been very distracted with all of this lately.. and the ex's constant snooping on my computer etc.
Re: OOPS, been a little MIA.. alonewith2: I don't really know your story....why is the ex sleeping on your couch? This new guy seems to be great for you. Hope things work out!!
Re: OOPS, been a little MIA.. mydarkdreams: The ex is haunting me! lol
Basically we were in a bad relationship for 5 years, he finally decided to leave which was good for both of us. But it's hard, as you can imagine. He had a new girlfriend very soon after the breakup - he slept in my bed until not all that long ago, really. he's finally on the couch.. but basically doesn't have anywhere to go - he says he is there for our son but he's really there because he really doesn't have any options. Here is the part that I shouldn't care, but it's in my nature to try and take care of people.. and he's controlled me for 5 years, it's HARD to deal with his crap, and disappointment, etc. I never thought I would be one to be in a relationship like that, because I am much stronger than that - I thought. Anyways.. that's kinda a brief rundown of it.
Re: OOPS, been a little MIA.. Lumpy: Dear MDD,
You know what I'm gonna say. He's a freakin' hypocrite. Too bad if he can't deal with you moving on. Next time he gives you any cr@p, tell him to get the hell out...
Re: OOPS, been a little MIA.. alonewith2: It is hard to get over some of the "obligations" felt....I know I had a hard time. I thought it was my duty to take care of my STBX during his midlife crisis (midlife at 29?!!), but eventually that feeling went away (thank goodness!) You seem to understand your struggle within, and I hope you are able to break away from it all and stop feeling as if he has control over you. He only has the control you give him.
