Re: How dare you dnuthouse4me: This is the first posting that I read. Although I am not married, I am familiar with some of your feelings. I just finished reading the book Men Who Can't Love by Steven Carter and Julia Sokol. It is about commitmentphobic men. It would be worth reading.
Heads up. Everything in life happens for a reason.
Re: How dare you barelybreathing: Your post reminds me of myself back when it all went down. I had that whole, "How dare you" attitude as well. Posing very similiar questions.
Rightfully so.
I have realized this, divorce is just plain ugly. It makes people act strange and inhumane. They cry love one day and scream hate the next. I guess it is the unraveling process. Detangling two lives that were once one.
It is carthardic for you to pose those questions. But remember, he may be in that divorce madness state of mind and may not be equipped to understand a word you are saying to him. And that will only make you worse in your anguish.
BB
How dare you Erin: How dare you tell me to only email or phone you if "it's important"
How dare you think that you should be able to tell me out of the blue that you aren't happy and need your space and I should have NOTHING to say about it.
How dare you try to rip me apart to justify your leaving.
Yes, it is YOUR fault. You and your decision alone has devestated me, my family, your family and you. YOU made the choice, NOT ME.
How dare you tell my parents only months ago plans to buy my grandparents house.
How dare you go on a trip to Europe with me, fight to extend it a week ALL on MY dollar and leave 2 days after we get back.
How dare you keep going on and on about moving to another country for work for months and then tell me 4 days ago "it's not for you".
How dare you tell me that you love me.
How dare you to not have the balls to tell me any of this before it got to the point that it has in your head. Listen to your friends....no they aren't big things. You alone have made them big. YOU not me.
How dare you think that we can just sell the house, split the profit and have a clean break.
How dare you tell me, not even a month ago how much I mean to you.
How dare you tell me that you still love and care for me. This is not love or caring.
How dare you tell me that I am romanticizing you right now.
How dare you after all this time have no clue as to how much money is needed to run this house month to month.
How dare you "make love" to me the day before you left.
How dare you to expect me to have an abortion a week after finding out I was pregnant.
How dare you think I stopped you from doing anything you wanted.
How dare you talk to my boss about my job.
How dare you be so naiive to think this could be a clean break. There is nothing clean about a pregnancy, thoughts never shared by you, finances, work....There is nothing clean about it.
How dare you compare me to other clean breaks you've had, when you have never dated anyone more than 4 months and we've been together for 4 YEARS.
How dare you blame me for your insecurities.
How dare you run and not look me in the eyes, your "best friend and lover".
How dare you use ME to justify your reasons to leave. LOOK AT YOURSELF.
How dare you be angry at me right now for being hurt by the man that I love and am married to.
How dare you run without even trying.
How dare you think that any of this should be easy
How dare you think relationships should be easy and not need any work.
How dare you use my words from years ago and twist them to hurt me.
How dare you to not have the balls to face me, your wife pregnant with your child.
HOW DARE YOU!
Re: How dare you ajw: mmmm....ok i'm sensing a little hostility here!....lol
Get it out.....its good to vent,you keep all these feelings inside and one day your head and heart are going to go pop.
Andy
Re: How dare you Erin: A little hostility....
Well yeah I am angry, I have every right to be. I can't keep it inside, I don't need to go and screech this at him either (although I think he needs to hear it)!
I don't want to be angry and bitter with him, but I can't sit and wait like an idiot either.
Besides, I'll probably turn back into a crying mess in an hour or so...
