Re: please help dgiirl: [quote author=BabygirlM link=topic=17543.msg152257#msg152257 date=1124658944">
this new OW is actually not the woman he cheated on me with. this is a new woman he just met and he seems to think she is "the one". it just hurts so bad. because i really was the best partner anyone could have asked for.....but he just treated me so horrible.
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How long have you been separated/divorced? Did he have any serious alone time between the OW he cheated with and this new woman in his life? If he hasnt had much time alone, he hasnt reflected on the reasons why you guys broke up, and thus is not ready for another relationship. I suspect he's only masking his pain with this girl. Sooner or later he's going to be forced to work through the pain of breaking up with you. Noone walks away from a relationship without going through it. And until they do, they cannot be in a good relationship. A friend of mine got divorced from her husband. Instead of spending some time alone, he went out and found another girl. He married her within the year, he married some psycho girl who stalked the first ex-wife, and 2 years later is divorced again. Instead of being alone, he masked the pain by finding someone else, and went through even more pain. Until he has some alone time, he'll repeat the mistakes over and over.
Anyways, right now, you're ex is no longer important. Right now, you are the only one that is. You have to focus on yourself, you have to go through the pain so you can heal and make an even BETTER life without him. That's the best revenge. When my stbxh left, I kept telling myself "He made the decision, but I'm going to make the decision right!". I'm determined to make this the best possible thing that could have ever happen. It's time for me to be selfish and get what I've always wanted. It's another start at life and I'm going to take it up. Change everything I wanted to change and do everything I've always wanted to do. It's my turn! It's your turn!
Re: please help charmed: [quote"> hes a cheater a liar and a scum bag, but yet he wins the prize in the end?Huh[/quote">
It only appears he is the winner. You are the winner by having self-respect and being the person you are.
Your feelings are normal. It's painful and confusing knowing you gave your all and to be cheated on, lied to and left for someone else. It never makes sense.
Be thankful for who you are and one day someone else will apprecate all you have to offer. Your ex may be happy now, but a relationship built on infidelity isn't a strong one.
You are special. Don't forget that ;D
`charmed
Re: please help BabygirlM: i dont want bad things to happen to him, but youre right, i am jealous that he is happy and he left me with so much pain and hurt and it just never ends.
this new OW is actually not the woman he cheated on me with. this is a new woman he just met and he seems to think she is "the one". it just hurts so bad. because i really was the best partner anyone could have asked for.....but he just treated me so horrible.
i realize the newness of a relationship takes over some time, and it probably wont work out in the end....but right now it just seems so unfair. i have not stopped crying all day really. why do i even care???????
Re: please help dgiirl: BabygirlM,
When we feel hurt that there's "happiness" in our ex's life, it's usually rooted in jealousy. We're jealous that they are happy and we are not. It's perfectly understandable to feel that way, but we have to acknowledge the feeling is not anger but jealousy.
With that said, what are you jealous of? He cheated and lied and found someone with the same traits. Does this sound like a perfect relationship? I dont know about you, but I want someone with integrity, who works on a relationship when the tough gets going, and isnt selfish. Is he someone to be jealous of? I'd feel more pity for the ow, because either he lied to HER as well, or she's pathetic to want a man like that. They truely deserve each other.
Karma is a b*tch. If you do bad things to people, bad things will happen to you. If you do good things to people, good things will happen to you. You might not be ready just yet, but remember this. Dont wish bad things to your ex. Forgive him for his flaws, not for him, but for yourself. If you forgive him, good things will happen to you. This doesnt mean you have to go and tell him you forgive him. It also doesnt mean you have to take any of his BS. It just means you dont wish any horrible thing to happen to him. Atleast dont think about it all the time lol :) You simply give yourself peace to move on without thinking about him or his so called "happiness".
Re: please help BabygirlM: BR...
i hope you are right, he claims he will treat her better than he did me...cause he has never felt this way about a woman before (ouch).
i dont know if karma really does exist, but i really hope so. he cheated on me, lied constantly...i dont see why he should get to have the love of his life. i was suppose to be the love of his life, and i understand that im not. but after all the cruel cruel, emotional/ verbal abuse i have gone through, now he gets to be even more happy????
oh god life is unfair :'(
