Re: Did I Bruise his Ego? Macaw_Lover: To be honest, everything was up to expectations and more. Only i'm not sure if subconsiously I was afraid that we really wouldn't work out and so I tensed up. The only thing that was not expected was me well having to stop and also him pulling away :( I mean when we talk it seems fine and all, but I think he is afraid. I will do my best to close the gap as I really do feel we have a connection on a high level. Hopefully I am right though. He talks a lot about me to his friends as they have told me so, not from prying but just they have said that even when I call his face lights up and it never lite up like that in the 4 yrs he was with his ex gf. If I don't bring this up do you think he will ever open up and come back to me and be ready to talk or he won't and I will regret it? You definately seem to have great insight charmed, I thank you for that.
Re: Did I Bruise his Ego? charmed: I guess the question is...how much of a risk are you willing to take? When it comes to sexual issues men can become very insecure in a situation like this. My ex-bf was the most amazing and wonderfu lover, but he still thought he was a loser LOL Men want to please and this guy probably feels that he failed in some manner.
You could give it a little more time, but I feel you are going to have to be the one to make the move.
`charmed
Re: Did I Bruise his Ego? charmed: I feel a lot of the tension has to do with the "build up" over the years. Things did not go quite as you might have expected. I doubt either of you are actually disappointed, as in not wanting to be with each other, but what happened didn't live up to the expectations that you had experienced in your thoughts. You've known this guy for many years and WOW what a build up LOL The beautiful reality can come to life, but someone has to close the gap and get things moving in the right direction LOL
Re: Did I Bruise his Ego? Macaw_Lover: Mooneyes, thank you for your reply. Appreciate it. I'm not sure what you meant as I'm not scared/hurt. The only thing i'm scared of is of hurting him in a way that he won't come back to me. Do you think any of this has to do with him being physically ready for sex, but not mentally. I know i'm his childhood sweetheart and he is mine as well. His dad has always said for 12 yrs now that one day we will go through and date other people, but one day we would find a way back to one another. He believes we are meant for one another. In my heart I to am starting to believe that. I'm just afraid of "pushing" him to talk about feelings especially if there is nothing wrong except he just needs some time. I don't want to make a bigger deal of it than it maybe is, but yet well i'm just confused. When we slept in a bed together for as many years as we have known each other 2 months ago was the first time we did at his house. When we cuddled he thought I was sleeping(I know probably sneaky of me)and he had his arm around me lightly rubbing and rest his head on mine. Something that I think is more intimate than if it was just a one night stand. I mean don't get me wrong honestly I don't think for a sec. that is all it was. Just that we probably well skipped a few steps considering we had our first kiss and had sex for the first time all in one night.....
Re: Did I Bruise his Ego? charmed: You're quite welcome ;D
From experience, I suggest stepping out and talking to him. I know it's tough, but he sounds like he's worth the effort. He may have so many doubts that he doesn't feel secure in bringing this up. I feel you are the one that will have to close this gap. It would be sad to see this gap get wider because this situation isn't discussed.
A possible dialogue:
_____ I loved being with you the other night and I'm sorry if I may have made you feel bad, but I would like to explain and assure you, it had nothing to do with you"
