I’m still a mess Thinkin: So now that I have been seeing this new girl my wife is trying to work things out like she hasn’t done for the last 8 months. My wife doesn’t know about the new girl but has asked if there is someone else. I haven’t been able to tell her there is someone else, it’s still really new but I know I like her and I can tell she digs me. It’s killing me to understand what the hell I’m doing or what way to go with my life. I don’t know anything anymore and am just really mixed up. For 8 months I wanted nothing more then to have my wife back and now that I can it’s not the same. It sucks that she took so long to come around but the bottom line is she did kiss and get close to someone at her work. I feel bad for her now that she is going to have to go through what I have been going through. I still love her and wish her happiness but at what cost to my own happiness? Thing is, am I now going through a grass is greener issue here? Am I mixed up with the new feelings and will I see that this new girl isn’t what I really want? Damn I’m full of questions today I guess, just real fuckin confused I guess. I need some advice cause I just don’t know what to think anymore and don’t trust my own thoughts now.
FuckedUpThinkin
Re: I’m still a mess Shanna: I think you were burned by her and don't wanna be burned again. I wouldn't go back, but that is what my choice would be. What yours will be is all up to you....can you go thru the pain again if it doesn't work?
Re: I’m still a mess badboy: hi, just a question,
Do you still love your wife? can you see yourself with her again? I know it must be really dificult, but the fact is that as you said you don't know what to do, or think. i will say, if you are not 100% sure to be with the new girl maybe you are not ready yet to be with someone else.
Take some time apart from both and after some time, see how you feel, I wish i could be back to my wife, I still love her very much and I'm not ready even to look at a girl, but we are indiferent stages. i wish you all the best and I hope that you feel better soon.
BB.
Re: I’m still a mess ColoHill: I don't know if you have thought about this but it is something I have seen w/ family and friends going through similar situations. I don't think you even need to tell her there is someone. But, my guess is she can sense there probably is. Have you thought about this...Do you think part of the draw is that she sees you actually happy again? Maybe like what things were before the two of you had problems? Maybe that is one of the huge things drawing her back. As far as what to do, you have to trust you gut with this one. I wouldn't guess you are going through a "grass is greener" thing. But the fact that you did say that now that she wants to come back, it isn't the same for you...Well, I would think that really should be a pretty good indicator of how you should proceed. Trust your gut on this one.
Re: I’m still a mess Thinkin: Sully: Your fast, thanks and I think your 100% correct. I don't trust her even though now she will do anything to make me see that. If she was true to that I'm thinkin she would have made an effort a long time ago and not now.
Bad: I do love her and care allot for her, but she hasn't made in effort until now. I care for her cause I was with her for 8 years, married for 2 months and separated going on 9 months now. Thing is I think I am ready for someone new that will treat me with respect but now that my wife is trying to make an effort it confuses me.
Missing: That makes allot of sense to me, she does ask me allot about if there is someone else so I think she feels that. Either that or she feels I don't fall to her now like I did before.
But why do I now feel like the bad guy?
Thanks for taking the time,
SickOfThinkin
