Tonight I say good-bye

Tonight I say good-bye twetifb: My stbx is moving to Florida and he leaves tonight.  I will literally watch his car as he and our dog drive out of my life.  There are so many feelings running through me that I don’t know exactly what I’m feeling.  My strength has really been tested this past week and I’m proud of myself for getting through it but I know tonight will be one of the most difficult nights of my life.  I still love him so much but we just can’t seem to make our relationship work.  When I moved out three months ago, I had no idea that a day like today would come.  We had dinner together last night and then I stayed and hung out with him and his friends for a couple of hours.  I was crying before everyone got there but then I pulled myself together.  I know his friends were sitting there last night studying us and that they were confused by what they saw.  We talked, joked, I called him “hunny”, gave him a kiss goodbye, and then we said our I love you’s.  It’s odd to say this but it doesn’t feel like this is the end.  Maybe I’m in denial or maybe this just shows that we didn’t have much of a marriage for us to mourn. 

Re: Tonight I say good-bye Kat0628: Aww sweetie....(((((HUGS))))) ...great big ones for you...

It's not good bye ...just till you meet again....
Re: Tonight I say good-bye Suddenly Single: Wow...that is one tough night coming up.  I will be thinking of you.  It is nice that he is leaving on a good note and that you do have warm feelings for him.  I know that makes it harder but considering the distance I think it will end up helping.  HUGS to you.  SS
Re: Tonight I say good-bye Beren: FWIW, yeah, Tweety, you *are* doing the right thing.  The things you've been asking for have been very reasonable, and the amount of time you've given him has been more than generous.

I really hope this *isn't* the end, though.  It doesn't sound like he's a bad guy, and you do love each other.  People say that sometimes love isn't enough.  Whether it is or is not in this case, well, that remains to be seen.

I truly admire your patience, Tweety.  I have every confidence in your ability to find your way through this. :)

Beren
Re: Tonight I say good-bye twetifb: Thanks everyone for your thoughts!  Last night went pretty well.  I helped my stbx pack up his moving van, move the furniture he was throwing out to the curb, and then I was on my way.  He was a little preoccupied with a friend of his when I decided to leave, so it wasn't as emotional as I thought it would be.  I think it was better off that way.  I cried the hardest when I kissed my dog good bye.  Right before I closed the door I looked down on him and he was just starring at me.  I think a little of my heart broke but I guess that's the way things are sometimes.