So now what? WhiskeyGirl: Okay so its a been a long day and I've had a few drinks so forgive me if I ramble.......my ex came to pick up the kids tonight and everything was fine, we were quite pleasant....well except that he said he would split the cost of back to school clothes for my 2 that started school and he was pissed because I spent $800 on them but whatever.......somebody doesnt get how much clothes, shoes, etc. cost these days ::) anyway...back to my story. I never thought this would be an issue for me, didnt think he'd ever want it but my ex is talking about joint custody. He is talking about buying a place close by so we can do a week on, a week off. A part of me wants to scream and yell NO! YOU CANT HAVE MY BABIES! but the other part knows that thats not really fair....they ARE his kids too. God I feel like my life is going to be torn apart again! As it is he only has them every second weekend and, although I do cherish my "me" time....I am missing them by the end of the weekend and just want them home :( Part of me worries that they will love him more than me...how stupid is that, but its a real fear of mine. That would KILL me. I know I get stressed and sometimes I dont have alot of time to play with them, most of our quality time is spent out in the fields working....me riding the quad with the 2 youngest and my oldest in the trailer behind throwing hay or dumping grain.....me holding one end of the irrigation pipe while one of the little one holds the other and we hook it all up, me fixing fences while they play in the creek, or me building a barn while they "pretend" to build it too. Is that so bad? I am not a perfect mother but goddammit I try! So I cant take them to the park everyday or the waterslides or the zoo like he does whenever he has them...I do it as often as I can. ARGH! Why do I allow him to make me feel so insecure about this? They love me....I know they do. But if we do this joint custody its like they will only be half mine...as it is I am a part of their lives every day, I know everything about what they've been up to, how they are feeling....I dont want to lose touch with them. Damn! why does this have to be so hard? I try to be rational about it but its been in the back of my mind eating away at me ever since he left with them. He wont know that C has a special pair of earrings for each outfit, or that S needs to have only white socks with her favorite shoes, or that T likes to dance to country music as soon as she gets up in the morning. I just want to cry everytime I think about it!!!!! ARRGHHHHHHH :'(
Re: So now what? Shanna: (((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))
:'( I will cry with you.
Re: So now what? Bubba: Well, WG, I understand where you are coming from, but as you said they are his kids too. As a father who does the one week off, and one week on, I can tell you that us guys can raise children just as well as women. What it comes down to is you are use to seeing them almost everyday, and now you are looking at the prospect of not having that time. I won't lie and say it is an easy thing to deal handle. I know when I went from seeing my son every day to one week on and one week off, it was very hard. It does get easier after a few months of it, but in the beginning it is hard.
I wouldn't worry about your kids loving him more then you. One thing he will discover, like you have, that having the kids for one week on means he cannot always do play things with them. Work will have to be done. Kids taken to school, etc, etc. The kids will get into their own routine with their father just like they with you.
I wouldn't stress it so much. You can always look at it this way. You never had to go to only having your kids every other weekend.
Bubba
Re: So now what? tyrogers: :-* :-* :-*
Grab me on MSN anytime ya need to vent/cry/talk girl.
<<<BIG BIG HUGS>>>
BBH
Re: So now what? whatnext: [quote author=Bubba link=topic=18501.msg164782#msg164782 date=1126352840">
I wouldn't stress it so much. You can always look at it this way. You never had to go to only having your kids every other weekend.
[/quote">
WG, I understand your vent, too. It isn't easy any way you slice it, but if it makes it any better, the reason your ex is always doing the zoo, parks, etc. is because he's trying to "make up for lost time".
Your children will always be your children, don't worry. They won't love you less...
