Re: She doesn't know if she wants to be with me anymore.......need advice and suppor Feel: I feel really bad for what you ae going through... Now I don't want to sound harsh with anything I say, but it seems to me she may have an interest in someone else...
I am going through my own ordeal with my husband who has had an affair on me but he is still seeing this woman and teliing me he wants to come back home...
I have a child and it makes it a lot more difficult to walk away especially if you love dearly as u do and are willing to work through it!
My advice to u is, since there are no attachments (children) give her her space... tell her ok if this is what you want then fine... Act strong... see what her reactions are... try your best not to read into anything you may not even have too, women are very expressive with there feelings, but listen to her and what she has to say, acknowledge everything and again remember to stay strong!
And you may also need some space yourself... From about to ask her to marry u, to having this bomb let out on you has to really hurt!
Never act like you don't care but show her that it is ok to walk away if the feelingsd aren't mutual!
Re: She doesn't know if she wants to be with me anymore.......need advice and su genesplicer: I agree with everyone else's comments. I married my high school sweetheart and now 10 years later I realize there were so many things we should have learned about each other that we didn't. We were madly in love, that was all that mattered.... Unfortunately that wasn't the case, there is so much more that has to go into a healthy long term relationship.
From my experience I think this is difficult when you're young. How do you talk openly about your hopes, dreams, aspirations, fears, everything if you don't really know what they are? It sounds like your gf is thinking about some of these things now from your comment about her not wanting children right now. And that's a great thing.
Just don't rush it if she's not ready! I would keep giving her some space, but also try to get YOUR answers to some of these bigger questions in order so you're ready to talk to her about it when she wants to.
Best of luck. I hope you two can work through this and be better for it down the road.
She doesn't know if she wants to be with me anymore.......need advice and suppor solus: sorry this is a book but i need to get this out.
well i'm new to this site thought i 'd give it a try after reading some the posts. Heres some background about my girlfriend and me, My girlfriend is 21 years old and I'm 23 we've been together since highschool. After high school i joined the navy and moved to hawaii. For two years we held a long distance relationship. Then when she graduated she moved in with me in hawaii. After two years (the best two years of my life) I got out of the navy and we moved back to my home town to go to school. There she moved in with her mom i moved in with mine. Things went fine for about a year but 3 months ago she started to not act here self, We've always talked about getting married and haveing children soon. But out of the blue she says she doesn't want to have children anytime soon. I'm ok with it, didn't bother me. Recently when i'm with her I feel like i'm getting the cold shoulder all the time. The small things are missing like, her smiles, she used to tell me she loved me out of know where, or reach for my hand to hold it, she spend more time with here girl friends than me. She also told me she has no desire to make love anymore and she don't know why. I asked her whats deal with all of this and she tells me she doesnt know. Well last night out the the blue she tells me she doesn't know if she wants to be with me anymore.....I took i pretty hard, I've never loved some so deeply and passionate as i love her, so it hurt me really bad.
Once again she tells me she don't know why she feels this way and its not my failt. I really don't know what to do. I think she knows i'm going to ask her to marry me soon (i have a ring on layaway) do think she getting cold feet? You think i've should of ask her a long time ago? I've just don't know what to do. Do confront her some more or do I just wait it out untill she decides? She means everthing to me and this is tearing me up inside, We were very close in our relationship, she help me through many trying times in mylife and is the thing that keeps me going, I wake up thinking about her and my last thought of the day is her. I just don't want to lose her...................Please I need some advice or support
Re: She doesn't know if she wants to be with me anymore.......need advice and suppor EssieDotCom: humm well i'm no expert.. but I do know that the signs of not wanting sex, feeling a little cold shoulder.. can sometimes mean there's something more to talk about. Or in some case depression on that persons part. There may be something more to the circumstances than you are seeing or she is allowing you to see. Do you think perhaps the two of you maybe need a little break from one another? I know you had the long distance relationship for 2 years ( I understand these well bc I'm a Navy wife, but only God knows how much longer I'll be a wife). But maybe she's starting to feel a little depressed like she doesn't want to suddently "tie" down, or rather settle down completely. I wish I could give you a little better advice. I know often times, during my marriage, and recently, I've wanted just time away. At one point I didn't want anything to do with my husband sexually, and times when i give him the cold s houlder, times when I feel like I just don't love him like i use to. And those are all things, I am told, that tie in with my depression. Which springs from a long list of a lot of other things. Maybe you should sit down with her and really talk, find out why she really feels the way she does. I wish I could help you out more. Best of luck to you sweetie, and God bless.
Re: She doesn't know if she wants to be with me anymore.......need advice and suppor RSGinATX: Major lifestyle changes can be rough on any relationship. If i'm reading you correctly, you lived together, just the two of you, for 2 years and then moved into seperate residences when you left the Navy? And you've been in that situation for a year so far and likely will be for a while longer(assumming whatever schooling you're going through is a minimum of 2 years) I can see how that could cause someone to question the direction of their life/relationship. You're doing it for a better future, yes, but that's still a heavy commitment to make. The gravity of that commitment combined with the difficulty of living separately may be getting to her. Sometimes living our plans can be a lot more difficult than we imagined it would be.
I hope you find your answers. Remember to take care of yourself though. YOU still have to live your future even if shes not there.
