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Re: college football jokes go here!!! BRING IT ON!!!! LOL

Re: college football jokes go here!!! BRING IT ON!!!! LOL tyrogers: I have heard all of the Bama ones! They are great!  Here's some more y'all:

Coach Superior, I mean Spurrier, was asked in 1993 why he wouldn't play Notre Dame. "Well," he replied, "I've been beaten by the Father and the Son, and I'm not taking any chances on the Holy Ghost!"
Reading "Visor Boy's" Mind: Pick your favorite caption for a picture of Steve Spurrier throwing his visor to the ground:
"I wish I understood defense."
"I wish I was as good a coach as I tell everyone I am."
"I never would have made that mistake when I was a quarterback."
"I wish I could coach in the NFL and make some serious money."
"How come I've never won a non-conference road game?"
"Wait till Wuerffel gets back to the sideline. I'll yell and scream at him for not being perfect, thereby proving what a positive role model I am for these young men."
Steve Spurrier's walking on the beach the night before the team is to leave for Arizona to play Nebraska in the '96 Fiesta Bowl, and he comes across this really ornate bottle lying in the sand. He picks it up and brushes the sand off and out pops a genie who tells Steve he'll grant him one, and only one, wish. Steve thinks for a minute then says "You know, I've always been interested in great engineering feats. I'd like to have a bridge built from Florida all the way to France, and it'd be called the Steve Spurrier Bridge." The genie immediately starts to hedge. "Steve, that would be nearly impossible, the sheer volume of concrete needed is prohibitive, the sea is thousands of feet deep in spots, lives would be lost... It simply can't be done. You'll have to think of something else - anything else, anything at all." So Steve thought for another minute, then he said with great enthusiasm "Then I want to beat Nebraska, win the national championship, and prove to all the world that a flashy offense, not a sound defense, wins championships." The genie didn't even hesitate a single second before he said "Do you want that bridge two-lane or four?"
Q: Why do Tennessee fans wear orange all weekend?
A: Because they can wear it huntin' on Friday, to Neyland Stadium on Saturday, and to pick up trash by the side of the road on Sunday.
An Alabama fan and a Tennessee fan were fighting side-by-side in World War II, and both were captured and sentenced to die by firing squad. The Tennessee man was stood up before the firing squad and the guard asked him if he had any last request. He thought for a second, then asked them to play Rocky Top one last time. From the side, the Aabama fan shouted out "Then please shoot me first!!"
You're probably an Auburn fan if ...
... You can play the Auburn fight song using your armpit.
... Your wife's idea of cleaning house is throwing everything out into the yard.
... The Roto-Rooter man stops by your trailer and asks, "What's that smell?"
... You're a member of the Skoal Frequent Purchaser Program.
... You looked up your family tree and your uncle spit on you.
... You joined Alcoholics Anonymous so you can drink and use a different name.
... You looked out for #1 and stepped in #2 !!!
... You won't buy a Japanese car because you're afraid you won't understand what they say on the radio.
... Your kids go to a private school and they won't tell you where it is.
... Your Granny beats you in the tobacky spittin' contests.
An Alabama fan was driving down a country road when he came upon two Auburn football players hitchiking. He told the Auburn players to jump in the back of his pick-up truck. He then drove down the dirt road rather fast and lost control of the truck as they were going around a curve. The truck landed in a lake. The Alabama fan scrambled to the surface and swam to the bank. When he looked back at the lake, the two Auburn football players were still sitting in the bed of the truck looking frantic. As the truck began sinking the Bama fan yelled for the Auburn players to get out truck, to which they replied, "We're tryin' to get out, but we can't get the dang tailgate open!"

slickwilly: well you did save yourself at the end with the bama jokes thought with the Notre Dame jokes right out of the barn door there was gonna be some fighting going on but your redeemed yourself  ;D ;)

 tyrogers: .. A fellow walks into a restaurant, orders a drink, and asks the waiter if he'd like to hear a good Notre Dame joke.

"Listen buddy," he growled. "See those 2 big guys on your left? They were both linemen on the Notre Dame football team. And that huge fellow on your right was a world-class wrestler at Notre Dame. That guy in the corner was Notre Dame's all-time champion weight lifter. And I lettered in 3 sports at Notre Dame. Now, are you absolutely positive you want to go ahead and tell your joke here?"

"Nah, guess not," the man replied. "I wouldn't want to have to explain it 5 times."



One day in a bus station, one man approached another and said, "I bet your from the University of Florida." "Why yes I am" answered the other. "How could you tell, was it my good looks, my debonair charm, my taste in clothing?" "No," replied the first, "I saw your class ring as you were picking your nose."

A man walks into a store and says, "I would like a orange hat, blue pants, green sweater, and white shoes." The clerk says, "Are you a Gator fan?" "Yes," replies the man, "How did you guess--by the color combination?" "No," answers the clerk, "because this is a hardware store."

A guy is in a bar with his dog, watching the Alabama vs. Florida game.  The gators surprisingly manage to get a field goal and the dog barks repeatedly.  The bartender looks at the dog in awe.  After a while the gators score a touchdown and the dog does flips and dances across the bar.  Then, the bartender looks at the guy and says, "Man, that's amazing. What does your dog do when Florida beats Alabama?" The guy replied, "I dunno, I've only had him 3 years."



Q: Why do Bama graduates keep their diplomas in the windshield of their pickups?
A: So they can park in handicapped spaces.

Did you hear they had to cancel the cheerleading program at Alabama this year?

Where were O.J. and Al Cowlings heading in the white Bronco?

You know you attended the University of Alabama if...
your richest relative buys a new home and you have to help him take the wheels off.
you've ever used lard in bed.
you think potted meat on a cracker is an hors d'ouvre.
there's a stuffed possum mounted anywhere in your house.
you think a six-pack of beer and a bug zapper is quality entertainment.
less than half your cars run.
your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before she tells the highway patrolman to 'kiss her butt.'
the primary color of your car is "bondo."
directions to your house include the phrase, "turn off the paved road."
you honestly think women are turned on by animal noises and suggestive tongue gestures.
your family tree doesn't fork.
your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school athletic event.
your brother-in-law is also your uncle.
you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.
you think "Volvo" is a part of a woman's body.
the rear tires on your car are twice as wide as the front ones.
you were conceived in an 18-wheeler at a truck stop on I-20.
you've hitched a ride back to Tuscaloosa in the back of a hog truck; AND, once you got there, no one noticed the smell.
you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
you consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.
your mother keeps a spit cup on her ironing board.
you've ever worn a t-shirt to a wedding.
the most overheard phrase at your family reunions is, "What're you lookin' at, jerk?"
you think beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
you think Campho-Phenique is a miracle drug.
you have more than two friends named "Bubba" or "Junior".
your father encouraged you to quit school when there was an opening on the lube rack.
you think "Grapenuts" is a venerial disease.
you think the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.
you've ever been too drunk to fish.
you grew up thinking cream gravy was a soft drink.
you have a rag for a gas cap.
you had a toothpick in your mouth when your wedding picture was taken.


 cyncyn_22: Okay, how bout some cheesy Aggie jokes???  Hook em Horns!!!  Enjoy! ;D ;D ;D

What's the definition of mass confusion?  Father's day in College Station.

Why do Aggies like smart women?  Opposites attract.

Ice is no longer available in the drinks at the cafeterias at A&M.  The senior who knew the recipe graduated.

What is the difference between the Aggies and Rice Crispies?  Rice Crispies know what to do in a bowl (game).  ;D ;D

Did you hear about the aggie terrorist who tried to blow up the Longhorn team bus.  He burned his lip on the tailpipe.

How do Aggies practice safe sex?  They get rid of all the animals that kick.  ;D ;D

 Phyxius: [center"> [IMG">">

[color=maroon"> [size=5"> GIG 'EM!!!!! [/color"> [/center">

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