Dreams of XH kittenpants: I think maybe I am starting to let go... I hope.
I have had reoccuring dreams about being abandoned since everything happened (back in March). In every single dream I was with my husband somewhere and all of a sudden he would be gone. Most of them were ridiculous situations. I rememember one where we were on a college campus studying (I've been out of college for years...), and I went to go to the bathroom, when I got back, he was gone and so was all of his stuff. I couldn't find him anywhere and when I tried to call his cell, I couldn't even get his voicemail. I finally called a friend who told me he sent an email telling everyone that things were over with us.
I know these dreams were just exemplifying how I felt, but they were awful. I hated waking up every morning feeling abandoned.
Well, last night, the dream was different. He and I were going jogging. He had told me he wanted a divorce earlier (maybe before the dream??). But we were having such a great time. At some point in the dream, he was walking in front of me and said something that I couldn't hear. I cannot remember what I said. Later he told me that he was all set to not get a divorce until I didn't respond or didn't respond right to his comment. I was like, but I didn't hear you. I was flabbergasted in the dream, much like I have been during my waking hours. When I woke up though, I felt fine.
I think maybe I am starting to realize how his feelings have waxed and waned, not just about me, but about everything. I am starting to feel less surprised about everything. It is strange, but the arbitrary-ness of his decision has made me feel less abandoned. Weird, I know, but maybe I am realizing, finally, that I don't want to be with someone who could change their mind about us over something so stupid as a conversation...
Re: Dreams of XH Dolphin Close: I woke up so tired and sad this morning. I had a dream of my ex-husband too and when I saw this thread I freaked! I have moved on but in my dream, it was kinda telling me and confirming to me that my ex-husband is really with the other woman, formerly known as the home-wrecker. Just like you, it's another reminder that there's no other way to operate than to LET GO. take care.
Re: Dreams of XH justmenow: Dreams can get weird when you're going through this, KP. I remember after my XH left and the betrayal was intense, I had dreams every night about people I trusted betraying me. Dreams about my Mom saying she wasn't really my REAL Mom (which she is...) and about my Dad saying he never loved my Mom (which he does - married 37 years). I even had dreams about my dog running away because he couldn't stand living with me (he told me that in the dream - who knew that I can speak dog?! haha).
What I'm saying is that your dreams are just playing out random scenarios of things going on in your real life. I always viewed dream topics as a catalyst of miscellaneous events during your day. I wouldn't take your dreams too seriously, although I have had a few that are freakishly coincidental ... I dreamed about our divorce a full year before I knew anything was wrong with my marriage. Spooky. :o
