14 years ago today--its starting out bad lost in midland: I was married 14 years ago today. I have been divorced almost a year. I have two great boys that are my everything. They seem, or so I thought well adjusted to the divorce. Both my kids are well manered and calm. Today was a whole different story. On the way to the bus stop I noticed my son had put on the wrong shirt and it had dog hair on it so I told him we had to go back in the house and change it. He threw a fit and said"I hate you both". This has never happened and I am hurt. I know he didn't mean it but I am scared of the future. Any help?
Re: 14 years ago today--its starting out bad justmenow: Well, kids have bad days too. Have you ever talked to your boys at length about the divorce and gotten their perspective? They may still be working through things too. The best thing to do is keep an open line of communication between you. Let them know that they can talk openly and honestly (and respectfully) to you. Not that they will, but it will be comforting to them to know that they can.
One thing I would not allow, though, is that kind of outburst. If you let that one slide, each subsequent one will get worse. First tell them that it is inappropriate for them to talk to you like that and if they have something they would like to discuss calmly, then you are all ears. Kids are allowed to have emotions, but they also need boundaries.
I wouldn't be too scared about the future. As long as you handle it now instead of putting it off and hoping it will go away, it probably won't get worse.
Re: 14 years ago today--its starting out bad lost in midland: THanks,
I am reading a book called boundaries, my pastor gave it to me. It just was scary to hear him say I hate the both of you. He has never acted like that and he is 9. Maybe some of the pain is starting to show?
