Need some advise ASAP! I am setting up to talk him. BarbJo: Let me just start by telling everyone about the past 24 hours.
I called an old friend of mine to come over last night to have a few drinks. He ended up spending the night. I don't have any type of attaction to have a relationship with this man. It was just one night of feeling wanted. One night of dancing and hugging in my kitchen. One night of feeling attractive. I woke up this morning thinking what the hell am I doing. He is not someone I want to be with at all. He has tried to call me about 10 times today. I just don't know what to say to him.
Then I got the mail today. It was a letter from my husbands attorney wanting to come up with a settlement. All I am doing is crying now. I don't want the divorce. I just want him to come home and work on us. I know that is not going to happen. It's just what I wish for. I want to be able to talk with him. Not about what has happened. But how we can be friends for our kids. I love my husband with all that I am. I just want to talk to him. I want to do the best thing for my children. I am at rock bottom again and dont know what to do.
Should I ask him to come over tonight and talk? Do I act happy and look good? Do I tell him how sad I am? I don't know what to do.
PLEASE HELP!!!!! :'( :'( :'( :'(
Re: Need some advise ASAP! I am setting up to talk him. Change4better: God!! How I wish this was my wife posting this, how badly would i run back to her...Sometimes you just can't change the things you want. The sence of powerlessness that I encounter is overwhelming. I am currently in your shoes at this point. and the only thing i could suggest is tell him exactly how you feel so at least he knows, then the rest is up to him, should he not want what you want. you have to find your way out of this instead of working into it. You must learn to let go. I feel for you, and Again I wish you were my wife posting as I would run to you within a blink of an eye
Hang in there.
Hugsss
Changee
Re: Need some advise ASAP! I am setting up to talk him. Rachael: Hey BarbJo,
I agree with Change... If you have to get it out of you - TELL him how you feel, but you can not change his feelings...even if you try! At least you will always know you said and did everything you could. Even if something you say could make him come back - unless he does it out of his own free will, you will still not have the happiness/good relationship you deserve! He will have to be the one to come to some realization that he has made a mistake by leaving and that he is meant to be at home.
Good luck BarbJo. And don't beat yourself up over last night...we all want to be loved and desired. I would let that man know, however, that you had fun (or whatever you feel) but that you are on a rollercoaster right now and really aren't yourself right now. Hopefully he will understand.
RMR
Re: Need some advise ASAP! I am setting up to talk him. KdUb: [quote author=Change4better link=topic=19521.msg177782#msg177782 date=1128015351">
God!! How I wish this was my wife posting this, how badly would i run back to her...Sometimes you just can't change the things you want. The sence of powerlessness that I encounter is overwhelming. I am currently in your shoes at this point. and the only thing i could suggest is tell him exactly how you feel so at least he knows, then the rest is up to him, should he not want what you want. you have to find your way out of this instead of working into it. You must learn to let go. I feel for you, and Again I wish you were my wife posting as I would run to you within a blink of an eye
Hang in there.
Hugsss
Changee
[/quote">
How odd - I was thinking the same thing. Man if only.......
Anyway Barb - just tell him how you feel AND look good. (never hurts) But don't pull any punches w/ the heart. Even if you get kicked, you'll know deep down that you didn't hide your feelings. If he tramples them - then you'll know where you stand. I could never do that to someone pooring their heart out to me. Just not in my nature.
Hope that helps.
Keegan
Re: Need some advise ASAP! I am setting up to talk him. BarbJo: I talked to my husband today. We talked for about an hour on the phone. We agreed not to discuss anything about the divorce and that we will let the attorneys handle it. We did talk about how we needed to come together as a unit for our children. We agreed that this is going to take a lot of time. That this was just a step toward some kind of relationship for our children. I assured him that I will work with him in any way so that he can have time with the kids. We talked about how hurt we both are with what has happend. We both want ourselfs to get better so we can focus on the kids. It was nice to be able to talk to him with out a fight. I don't know when I will talk to him again but I am just at peace with what we talked about today. I love that man so much. I know we will never be together again but we will be civil to each other for our children. God I hope and pray that this doesn't back fire in my face. I don't want to be hurt again. Please pray that he will find his way back. Thanks for all your support. I don't know what I would do with out all of you.
