My divorce Debbie: Last Saturday I got dressed up nice, short skirt, heels and a tight fitting shirt. My husband had complained I was not dressing like I used to when we were first married 7 years ago. We went out to see a movie and then to dinner. At dinner I asked why he did not want to touch me anymore. He would not even hold my hand. I am 29 years old weigh 102 pounds 5'2 and am told by many people I am attractive. Well he told me he does not find me attractive, and I am irrational and emotional. Before we were married I told him my family history so there was never a surprise. Then he said he wants a divorce. He tells me there is not another woman. The only thing is I thank God that we do not have any children.
BUT I still love him and want him back even though he has been verbally abusive to me in the past, what is wrong with me?
Re: My divorce lilly10: Debbie nothing is wrong with you at all!! Just my take on the situation is that when someone is verbally abusive to you they control you and lower your self esteem. Now I dont know to much about your situation but I do know that you can and will get stronger and realize how this person has treated you and come to the conclusion that you are better off. Sure there is a long road till you get there but it will happen if you do all that you can to focus on yourself!! YOU DESERVE MUCH BETTER!
If anyone has something wrong with them it is him! He just needs to knock you down for what to make himself feel good?? He has the issues not you.
Re: My divorce charmed: [quote"> BUT I still love him and want him back even though he has been verbally abusive to me in the past, what is wrong with me?[/quote">
Therein, lies the clue to some answers.
You got dressed up, looked your best only to get cut down. There is no excuse for that!!! I don't know your entire story, but he definitely isn't showing you any respect. My guess is that he has issues and saying that he doesn't find you attractive, etc. is his way of diverting the real problem. But, ask yourself why you want to be with a man that treats you so disrespectful. You are worth more than this man is wiling to give.
I wish you the best-
charmed
Re: My divorce KdUb: [quote author=Debbie link=topic=19542.msg178131#msg178131 date=1128032455">
Last Saturday I got dressed up nice, short skirt, heels and a tight fitting shirt. My husband had complained I was not dressing like I used to when we were first married 7 years ago. We went out to see a movie and then to dinner. At dinner I asked why he did not want to touch me anymore. He would not even hold my hand. I am 29 years old weigh 102 pounds 5'2 and am told by many people I am attractive. Well he told me he does not find me attractive, and I am irrational and emotional. Before we were married I told him my family history so there was never a surprise. Then he said he wants a divorce. He tells me there is not another woman. The only thing is I thank God that we do not have any children.
BUT I still love him and want him back even though he has been verbally abusive to me in the past, what is wrong with me?
[/quote">
Debi,
Nothing is wrong with you. I'm in the same boat. Got told the same thing - only my wife DID have another man. I dug deeper and found I was right. :-\
There is nothing wrong with you for loving the man you vowed to spend the rest of your life with. How people can just toss that away like yesterday's paper will never cease to amaze me. I believe in forever.
Re: My divorce changed4ever: There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, but there probably is something wrong with him. You sound like a warm and caring person that truly loves her husband. Do you have any idea how many men would die to have such a loving and committed person as their spouse. Yet your husband chose to abuse you verbally and make you feel like crap. Take it one day at a time and stay strong. I'm new here too, but the people here are great and have been through hell and back themselves. You've come to the right place for support. Welcome.
